So i have been in a relationship now for 2 years, he knows me better than i know myself, and i love him. However it took a year for me to be able to do anything sexual at all. (Background) When i was in year 7 (11 yrs old), i used to get teased a lot. My friends would all sit around a table and ask me sexual questions, then laugh and take the piss when i didn't know the answer. Then i was forced to go out with a guy they set me up with, which eventually led to being shoved against a door with 20 of mine and his friends watching as he shoved his toungue down my throat. After that the next few bf's i had left me because i wouldnt do anything at all, including hugging etc. (Because i was waiting for them to start it so i knew i wasn't going wrong.) Then my last bf before this one tried to force himself on me, not rape, but trying to touch me and grab me. (present day) This is where it gets annoying. My bf loves me, but he doesn't understand why i cant have sexual contact very often. The depression etc on its own is bad enough to reduce my libido, but coupled with the rest of it i just find it really hard to shut off and actually enjoy it. As a result we have been arguing a lot, because he thinks it's unfair, and he even said to me 'as long as we do it at least once a week then i don't care'.. As you can imagine this realy hurt. He doesn't like when i force myself but he was basically forcing me to force myself. So now my already non existent self esteem has disappeared never to even slightly return, and i just don't know what to do. I can't imagine being without him, but i cant keep having the same fight over and over again. Sorry if this is in the wrong place. I'd appreciate it if someone would talk about it with me though because its really messing me up... Thanks for reading.