bitching because i'm just another stupid moody teenager

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by poison, Aug 25, 2009.

  1. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    i've got one real friend. i've got another friend who i haven't seen much lately and we used to kick it a lot, but i was never entirely sure if he had my back. i really liked him and all but i was always unsure of his loyalty (he always said he was loyal, but i never felt he proved it and i always felt he didn't like people knowing he was buds with me). to start, i'm a 16 year old male in 10th grade high school. i'm not ugly or fat, either. i honestly have no group of friends. i have no little group to associate with like everyone else does. surprisingly enough, i'm not angry at myself nor am i jealous of those who have a group. i'm angry at the world and at everyone else for not appreciating me. why doesn't anyone want to know me? is genuineness a turnoff?

    right now i'm feeling really sad and lonely with a very large amount of underlying anger. i'm not an angry person and i'm bad at dealing with anger and tend to bottle it, and it hurts having it in. sadness i can wallow in but anger feels like eats me. it's like i'm feeling depressed and alone, but under all that there is a very sharp anger that's screaming to get out. i hate feeling angry, i'd rather be miserable. i hate school due to having no clique and due to my natural quietness and shyness i prefer not to approach people. on top of that i'm miles ahead of my classmates as far as maturity is concerned as well as taste (as in music and such).

    i know i'm not the only one that feels this way, but it sure does feel like there is really no one else on my level in the school. if you feel like saying i'm trying to act beyond my years, have fun because pretentious is the last thing i consider myself.

    tl;dr wah wah wah. :/
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I just wanted you to know that you're NOT a stupid, moody teenager. And it's okay to vent out that anger. Sometimes it really can help to vent, let it all go and not keep it bottled up.
    Here if you ever feel like talking.
     
  3. akito38

    akito38 Member

    I was pretty much in the same situation back in high school and even middle school. with the exception that I was fat and ugly!(lol) so in addition to being socially isolated I was also picked on and bullied. But I am the arrogant type so I would fight back and basically school become a battle ground for me. Everyone was an enemy. It got to the point where I could kill almost every person in that school and it wouldn't bother me (it still wouldn't bother me) it was a very hostile and miserable environment. Not to mention in HS you are so trapped.

    BTW I wasn't going to some inner city gang filled school or anything it was a nice school in the country with a lot of hicks and such attending it. Just goes to show you country living isn't all its cracked up to be.
     
  4. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    nice to hear some responses from you guys, thanks for them. i'm feeling better but not in the conventional sense; i'm just kind of ignoring it i guess, pretending it will all get better, living in my own little world.
     
  5. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Feel free to vent anytime.
     
  6. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    for fuck's sake it's another one of those nights. i'm angry for some reason and i don't know why. i can't handle this anger, i lash out at everyone.