With bitterness I see the blood, emotion pours forth a mighty flood. Not enough the red on my skin knife in hand I do it again. Thru the muscle and onto the bone, unable to cry or even to moan. Insufficiant the pain I feel, so I pray to God never to heal. Loaded and ready I hold the gun, knowing full well this won't be fun. Right hand up with fingers flexed, I pull the trigger tho why I'm vexed. Nothing is working the way I thought, wasted so much money on pills I bought. Swollowing mercury at the age of ten diddent do anything, try it again. Hydrocloric acid a radical plan, drink a cup to forget who I am. But I'm still here after all I've done, the knife, the pills the acid and gun. I wake each day to the sun and the birds, my children laughing, my wife's loving words. I pray to God " GIVE ME A SIGN!!", his only answer " Its not your time". NaDinSin.