black humor always keeps me going

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by HawthornePassage, Aug 21, 2011.

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  1. HawthornePassage

    HawthornePassage Well-Known Member

    gonna be a sarcastic asshole about all the problems in this world till the day i die, whether that will be in 2012 or 2102
    it takes the edge off
  2. HawthornePassage

    HawthornePassage Well-Known Member

    it gives stupid self righteous asshats a taste of their own medicine. they normally 'dominate' pseudo arguments with their stupid emotionally charged bullshit, nice to see for a change that someone with teeth bites back
  3. lostinca

    lostinca Well-Known Member

    I agree with you 100%. You may find this person funny he ALWAYS makes me laugh so hard so I hope you will laugh as well his name is David Thorne, he's a australian guy whos so whitty I would love to be even half as whitty as he is, something to strive to be. Let's see if I can post his link. I would love to pick a favorite of one of his articles but I honestly just can't.
  4. imyouroldman

    imyouroldman Well-Known Member

    The Hidden Dangers Lurking In Every 1.5 liter Bottle of Smirnoff's 150 Proof Vodka

    I believe she was referencing the ingestion of a SCREWDRIVER. A popular alcoholic mixed drink made by mixing various qtys of vodka with orange juice. The ratio of the components vary widely depending on the mood status of the imbiber or his/her barkeep. The mixed beverage is popular the US and many other places world-wide.

    Normally a "SCREWDRIVER" as referenced above, carries with it, a low risk of physical harm, unless you started your imbibing with a sealed 1.5 liter bottle of Smirnoff 150 proof and you are now looking at a qty of 1/3 liter or less, consumed in less then 1 hours time.

    If that is the case, all bets are off concerning safety and common sense. This phenomenon was illustrated quite nicely before my eyes in March of 1999, by my soon to be wedded, and quickly there after divorced, ex-wife, "The Hillbilly".

    I watched in horror and disbelief as 4 different ambulance crews w/ 4 different ambulances, from 4 different dispatch sites, in addition to 8 law enforcement officers, with 8 police cruisers from various state, county and city jurisdictions, tried to successfully transport "The Hillbilly" to the local ER Trauma Center. This convoy was escorted by 2, "locked and loaded" Air National Guard, Apache gunship helicopters. :shelbi: :shelbi:
    (and this was a FULL 2 years before 9/11!)

    But please ignore my ranting. It's just my sarcastic, defensive way of trying to minimize the effects of the PTSD that I developed, during my tenure with her, as a result of her nightly whoring, gang banging episodes at various pubs and taverns in a 4 county area.

    And people question my motives for wanting to "exit"? :mad:

    lol ;)
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 21, 2011
  5. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    I would not say your sarcastic dear fellow!

    more just an asshole really :biggrin:

    Well it takes one to know one - right


    Fooled again!

    Hmmm- 2012 - well - the Mayans predicted the end of the world - or maybe they just took too many 'sacred mushrooms'.

    As for dark humour - I like it.

    The more worried the newscasters get - the more cheerful I become.

    Like the riots - it lifted my spirits to see some of the joyous thanksgivings as the things became 'free'.

    People were saying to me "Ooooh, its so worrying" lol - whats to worry about?

    Wait till it gets better - I mean worse!

    Worse case scenario - a few mushroom clouds in the middle east.

    Nothing to worry about!

    In fact its even more likely you might get laid! So cheer up HawthawnePassage!

    And we get a 3 minute warning for nuke war in the UK which will be enough time to .....:biggrin:

  6. HawthornePassage

    HawthornePassage Well-Known Member

    oh orange juice is a bitch that shit makes me get heartburn from hell

    (im sort of allergic to it but it took me awhile to figure it out since i would eat a lot of stuff)
  7. HawthornePassage

    HawthornePassage Well-Known Member

    and about 2012 i already get laid its ok i was more talking about ramming my head into a sidewalk until it breaks

    jk i wouldnt do it that way
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