Black spots and spiralling out of control

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by AlexDanish, Aug 20, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. AlexDanish

    AlexDanish Account Closed

    I don't know what I've been doing lately. I don't know where I've been, or what I've done.

    I looked at my threads lately. The two in the Suicide forum. I don't even remember making them, and that scares me like hell. I have been taking some OTC drugs to help me sleep at night, but I don't know. I don't even remember if I overdosed on them because the dose I took wasn't enough? This past two weeks I barely remember anything.

    To make things worse, I remember listening to music (This is two days ago) and it swore, and my father got pissed that it swore. And my mother came in and bitched at me, so I argued with her and I got kicked out of the house. I had like, 12 bucks and I just walked out the door. I don't really remember anything but passing out at a park. I woke up with a twoonie, so I went to McDonalds and bought a drink (I dunno why, I guess there were no convenience stores) and then my cell phone kept buzzing. So at about 8:00 I walked home (I've been thinking clearly since then) and my parents let me back in and I slept.

    And here I am and that's my story. At least, I think it is. I have black spots when I try to think of things. I don't even remember making my last thread about my friends.

    Why am I even writing this? I dunno. I've been feeling in this constant state of shit and everything is just spiraling out of control. How am I going to survive this? And the school year? Shit.
  2. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    I'm having a simlar problem. I do the most stupid things, like the other day I filled a plastic bag with milk. I sometimes have conversations with people then have no idea I did until they tell me days later. I also look drunk & unsteady on my legs when I'm like this, my boyfriend pointed out to me the other day that I was weaving all over the pavement & kept almost falling over. Then when I do snap out of it it is like I've lost time, I have no memory what so ever.

    This is closely linked to my menstrual cycle and I am in the process of "trying" to demend some investigations into it physicaly.
    I'm asssuing your a guy so this could not be responsable for whats happening to you.

    Do you get any physical symptoms before these "black spots" happen? I usualy get a headache in the front of my head that makes my eyes water and I sometimes feel sick, but I think these are part of the root cause, the menstrual problem, I dunno.
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I get white outs according to my therapist. The scary thing is I get in my car and drive places and find myself sitting in my car at a location that I have no clue how I got there.
    I also see black snake like things squiggling around in my perrifial vision.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.