Blackhole of It

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Succubus, Jul 24, 2008.

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  1. Succubus

    Succubus Guest

    It's time to put people on notice and it's time to let people know. I'm so sick of everything. I'm sick of the fakeness.
    I'm sick of the lies.
    I'm sick of the bullshit drama infested succubus of a chatroom. All that goes on there is lies upon lies. Let's like about death like it's a game. Let's lie about situations and events. Lets fabricate and completely lie all together about events. It's a suicide forum where there are people seriously suffering and seriously hurting, but as always it's overshadowed by people who have to make shit up. If you want attention ask for help, don't sit there and make up some overly fabricated story. Just to clue you in if it smells like bullshit, sounds like bullshit and looks like bullshit...IT IS BULLSHIT. People aren't even clever anymore, are they?

    It's all part and parcel to the downfall of humanity and life. No one cares anymore about others feelings. No one cares what their lies could possibly do to someone. All they want is to be center of attention so they make up shit. It's not funny when someone is abused, raped, or hurt so why make something up that can severly send someone into a downward spiral.

    I'm sick of the lack of care and concern for others. Some say tread carefully or use your words wisely. How can one use their words wisely? When I try it only turns out that the person wanting help lied about their whole existence? Why come to a suicide forum if you just want to lie about shit?! I'm so tired of hearing the ever ready answer of "well they must be really suffering and have real issues if they have to lie" BULLSHIT! If they had true issues they would not have to sit here and make shit up. They'd have enough going on in their lives to just dive into it and let it out.

    I'm just tired of it all, so the deduction is I'm off of here for awhile, possibly permanantly. Of course you won't know who this is and when I disappear it'll be for the better. I don't need to say my goodbyes because at this point anything is better than this fuckin' place and all it's lies. And don't bother posting any bullshit like "oh take care huggy huggy huggy PUKE"

    Just don't because it's not wanted and you know what I don't want your fake bullshit sentiment anyways. So bring it on. Bring on the words of "Oh this site is not like that. It's a wonderful place to vent" Open your fuckin' eyes...okay!
     
  2. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    I've never really found it fake...but whatever :dunno: Most of the time people don't really know what to say, but want to show that they read your post and that they care in some way. It helps me to know someone out there actually read what I had to say, even if they don't have any advice.
    Maybe the world in general is like that....maybe...but there are genuine people out there....I'm pretty sure there is...like people who are honest and kind. You just have to look.
     
  3. Succubus

    Succubus Guest

    I really don't give a shit what people say anymore. People don't talk in chat aside from saying hi. I've gone into chat and been completely ignored and please don't sit there and say oh maybe they didn't see you. I'm so sick of the sanctimonious bullshit. I'm sick of the vapidness. Hence why I just need away. I'm so tired of the fakeness of people. Get to know them ripper and you'll see right through them. They are so transparant. Plastic, spastic fake little people. Huggy huggy I care I care when in the back of their minds they are thinking fuck you fuck you go away go away.
     
  4. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    I don't really go in to chat very much, but yeah I kind of did feel left out sometimes. I seriously seriously doubt that they are thinking 'fuck you fuck you go away go away'. I don't know who you are, or whats going on but mostly people are pretty tolerant on here, from what I've seen. It's true I don't really know most people here though.
    If their behaviour is upsetting you this much, then just try and stay away. You believe in what you're saying, you know who's in the right here. You've got to take care of yourself really, just don't worry about people that you really dislike. Just live and let live, you know?
    I don't know what's happening, but you can pm me if you want, I try to be honest and do care about people, I think.
     
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i agree, it's pretty low to lie about being abused. i choose to believe that this kind of person is in the minority here, but ultimately, who knows.
     
  6. AlexDanish

    AlexDanish Account Closed

    Sadly, anywhere you go there's going to be a heirarchy, even places like SuicideForum.

    It's sad, but it's the bottom line. Harsh truth or no, it's a truth. People who have been here longer, people who have posted the most, people who are known the most, they're the ones who get talked to in chat. They get the most sympathy, the most replies to their threads. They're the ones who form the most friendships on here, and therefore get more out of this forum.

    There's always a heirarchy. There are always seniors. It's just the sad fact about forums like these. There are the few who honestly care enough about people to talk to you, maybe send you a private message, talk to you. And there are some who do it so you can be another trophy on their shelf, another notch under their belt. And some, who do it purely out of obligation.

    I mean, if you really face the facts. Two people walk into chat. The person everybody knows, and the person who's been on once. Who's going to get talked to, noticed? Two people make threads about their depression and their long-winded problem. Who's going to get noticed? The guy who posts alot, or the guy who's been on only a few times?
     
  7. Adam

    Adam SF Supporter

    Succubus please contact me you are the sort of person I would like to chat too.

    Ok Succubus I do agree with a lot of what you have said. I used to come here quite a while back before it became 'popular.' When it was smaller numbers of people and felt like a community. Because that is what is missing now. There is such a torrent of people. The forum is listed up on the first page of a lot of search engines. Your going to have a high volume of people come through. Just look at the countless posts the alarming number of new members each day.

    As things get bigger people get pushed out, they conform to the group or they leave. This is just the natural flow of things. You see it in life and globally so you can't expect here to be much different. I do miss the days where you could just come along and vent with out censoring yourself. But in those days it felt safer to do so.

    Well it is the internet, lying is easy and there is little in the way of 'personal consequences' should you be caught in a lie. Just create a new screen name, put the person who knows on ignore and so on. The internet has always been the den of liars. I don't doubt People lie and fabricate stories here. Hell I am sure some do it out of sheer boredom, or it is a distracting drama. It is easy to forget there are people behind the text.

    But also be aware that people with mental illness do come to this site. A lot of mental illnesses have at their core a 'need for attention.' I will just list a few, Histrionic, Borderline, Narcissistic, dependent personality disorder and Bipolar in a manic state. There are likely more. Making a story gets that craved for attention, so the story has satisfied that need. But throw in more people and you have competition of people trying to out do one another. Obviously what happens is escalation and you cannot tell one person apart from the next. Because either they compete or they go quiet.

    There are other options however. Don't play the game at all cultivate a small group of people you want to talk too, that you can open up too. Develop trust over time and leave all the other dramas to play out by themselves. You choose how involved you want to get. Take everything on the net with a pinch of salt. You maybe have too much empathy and as a result you have burned out.


    Some of this is true to an extent. No one does really care, on a larger scale your just a cog in a machine, a series of numbers. An address, A screen name, a postcode, a bank balance. There is only so much care to go round. Have a read of this it may help a bit.

    http://www.cracked.com/article_14990_what-monkeysphere.html


    People who have been here longer, people who have posted the most, people who are known the most, they're the ones who get talked to in chat. They get the most sympathy, the most replies to their threads. They're the ones who form the most friendships on here, and therefore get more out of this forum.

    You get out of it what you put in. ;)

    Now I am going to go out on a limb and just assume some things based on the few clues that are in your above post. Seems to me you resent having been pushed into the 'rescuer role' that is a very real danger on this website. Especially if you have the mentality of wanting to 'help.' Helping is actually very damaging to a person, a person needs to help themselves. Any actions the person takes are their own responsibility. You can give advice, you can give an empathetic ear but you cannot help. If you take on the burdens of every person who comes here it is not surprising you will get crushed, duped and used.
     
  8. Adam that was a very insightful post. However I just have to disagree with one thing you said and unfortunately it's sparked a little rant (but not all about what you said)

    Unfortunately I don't believe this is the case. I've been a member for most of this site's lifetime (and I'd be willing to bet that the original poster has been here for a long time too) and what you said may have been true when the site was smaller, but I think now it is so big that the amount of time someone has been here no longer matters. The site now has so many members that it's the ones who have the most problems who get the most support/attention. Whilst that in a basic sense is not a bad thing, there are so many people needing attention (with relitively few members able to give it because they too are suffering) that everyone has to compete with everyone else to have the most problems and therefore get the most attention. Unfortunately with so much shit happening to so many people the only way to be "the centre of attention" is to exaggerate and lie about problems. And so it becomes, as it is becoming now, that the only way to get attention is to lie, and the lies just get bigger and bigger and new members see these supposedly huge problems that the existing members are having and lie to get noticed. The more people lie the less people are willing to give support and so people lie to get attention even more. It needs to stop, the genuine people are no longer getting support and this site will crumble if all that is written on it is exaggeration and lies. I'm not saying everyone is a liar (though there's only about 4 peope who I actually believe anymore) and I pity the people who do feel they need to lie to get attention, but this site is it's members and it's up to all of us to stop and think before we exaggerate our issues. Your lie may get attention in the short term but it wont be fullfilling because you aren't getting support for a real problem. Nothing good can come from lies and they will find you out.
     
  9. succubus

    succubus Guest

    someoneelse...thank you for understanding where I"m coming from. You basically just took the words out of my mouth. It feels nice to know that I'm not the only one that sees through things. I'm glad someone else sees that the route that this place is going is nowhere good and if we don't do something about it, it will come crashing down. You were right in saying that I've been here for awhile. I'm thinking too long. I don't want to be posting this but I just wanted to say thank you for seeing it!
     
  10. i disagree with that. i for one, know of many, many members that have been here for a year plus, sometimes even two, who barely even get their posts acknowledged. it's quite sad really. but you do have the liars and the attention seekers that overshadow everyone else that tells the truth.

    someoneelsetiredoflies & succubus, i agree completely with essentially everything you've said. i hope all of your posts get acknowledged, and that those who lie, stop, it's pathetic and kind of sad that they feel as though they need to lie about things that people ACTUALLY go through, to get attention.

    and succubus, i hope you get the help you need. please take care of yourself, and i really do mean that.
     
  11. AlexDanish

    AlexDanish Account Closed

    Alright, so maybe it's not 100% on, but the prince pal behind it stands. Hierarchy and seniority; They exist on every forum.
     
  12. Well of course, there's always some kind of hierarchy in any group of people. But that's kinda missing the point really. It's a sign that something is seriously wrong when the best thing to be in a community is the person with the biggest problems. That's hardly likely to encourage anyone to face their very real issues and work on them. People just end up wallowing in the fake issues they've created for themselves and burying their real problems. The original poster is understandably angry at this, people here have faked their own deaths and hospitalisations. Which is firstly an insult to memories of the members of this site who really have died and of those who have lost people close to them, but also (I think everyone would agree) a sign of a serious problem. I remember when the first person on here faked their death, it was a huge shock that anyone could ever abuse other's trust like that. After that it would happen again but was a fairly rare occurance. But recently it happens every few weeks, so often that no one seems to trust anything anyone else says anymore. I don't hate the people on here who lie, I don't think anyone can say that they are 100% honest all of the time. Exaggeration is a part of depression, the smallest thing can be exaggerated in our minds and there's nothing wrong with expressing those feelings on here. But a certain degree of personal responsiblity has to come into it as well. Compassion and consideration for other people have to become more important to all of us instead of just being the centre of attention all the time, or the heart of what was once a wonderfully caring, supportive community will die as the trust and compassion of it's members die.
     
  13. Succubus

    Succubus Guest

    I have sat here debating for a few days now as to whether I'd continue to post to this. I decided that it seems like the right thing to do. If it's not then so be it. I read the posts from the anonymous posters and it hits home. Everything they say is true. The other people that have posted haven't been around long enough to see the downward spiral of the site. They haven't seen the site in it's "glory days" where people were actually supportive and where people actually took the time to see if someone was okay. The past few months with the rise of newer members and the rise of liars and storytellers the site has turned to crap.

    I know that people are going to post and say that the site is supportive. Yeah, maybe to you but if you were here a year ago, heck even months ago you would see the steady decline this site has taken. It is no longer about supporting people like a previous poster stated. It's about who can beat who in the "my life sucks" game. It's getting old having to compete with people when it's not a competition. Come on people, when did it become a challenge to see if you could one up the next person. If I said "yeh I have a cold and feel like crap" someone else would say "well shit I have pneumonia." Well gee wizz who cares about me then because my itty bitty cold is no match for your story telling pneumonia.

    It gets old having to sit here and wonder whether the value of my existence means anything. I have stopped going into chat altogether now. I haven't signed on in days. I do not feel comfortable nor even welcome to come here. Even this post is a way for people to come at me and attack. Eventually I will come out and say what I have to say. I know it will cause full blown hysteria. I also know people will be more than willing to throw me under the bus. Until that day comes I guess I'll stay in the shadows. I will wonder whether people are being truthful to me or are just lying through their teeth to get attention.

    To all those "whiney, attention seeking, lying, coniving, backstabbing, emo, look at me look at me" people. Thank you for ruining a beautiful place. Thanks for ruining something that was once good and once helped many people.

    On a side note, has anyone noticed all the regulars from a year ago have fucked off because they can't stand the site. If you don't see that then you really are blind.
     
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