Blade in hand....wanting

[sofie]

I want so bad to beat this and I want so bad to simply slice into my thigh. I know it is messed up. I know it will freak out my husband. I know it will not solve anything, but I want that so badly and the knife is so lovely.

 

[Rockclimbinggirl]

Sofie, stay strong, you can resist. s*

 

[JmpMster]

There are many choices you can make, and while self harm may have a lot of appeal , it is the one least likely to make you feel better tomorrow. I used to have a line in my signature here to the effect "If you are not happy with today, what have you done to make tomorrow better?" ... You will decide, and do whatever you decide to do, none will be wrong, none will make you a better person or worse person. But you can make a choice that is less likely to make you feel worse about yourself tomorrow - and choose to go for that better feeling tomorrow instead of the better feeling right now.

I hope regardless of your choices , that tomorrow is better and and that you find a way to not have to have this internal argument so often Things really can get better , and I hope they do because you deserve better.

 

[Moat]

Sofie, I used to cut all time - limited to my arms only one - but I know how you are feeling. By cutting, the physical pain helps release the emotion pain you are feeling and while it good when you feel that way after you cut, I do wish you would not go through with it. Cutting, however shallow you mean to do it, is always a dangerous thing, because you can easily mis-judge the depth of when you cut and can end up cutting deeper than you had intially planned and that can severely damage your muscles, your veins under the skin, the endings etc and lead to serious health related problems in life, such as daily pain for the rest of the rest of your life if you damage any nerves and can even lead to blood poisoning, which can cause you major trouble in your body and require frequent hospital visits or, at the least, visits to your G.P.

I cannot tell you not to cut, because that is a personal choice that only you can make for yourself, although I really would hope you reconsider and do something else, like just lie down on your bed or lounge and just cry until you have no more trars left in you, but I can offer you some advice on what could potentially go wrong if you are not careful.