Hello, I don't want to sound overly dramatic but I'm afraid of what I might do in the next few days. I've been struggling with mental illness and suicidal feelings for over a decade now and I'm worried that something may happen very soon. I have very close friends and family but I have difficulty articulating the extent of my problem. I also have a history of self harm and I am afraid that I might end up cutting my face up, or doing something far more extreme. I don't know why I am writing any of this. I guess I feel I have nothing to lose.