I feel I'm finally at the end of it, or I'm going over the edge, I didn't think it was possible to take so much pain. In a way my situation has not been bad at all and in a way it has been a constant nightmare. I just want relief and the pain to end. Waiting 14 days to see someone is hurting and they most likely won't tell me anything new. Medication don't work I'm young ish now but the older I get the more pathetic this becomes and the more of a loser I become. I try to move forward, thanks for listening everyone. If I chose to go I hope my method works I couldn't stand to do it some of the other ways. I just want to be free and I'm trying really hard, just the shit gets me down and there isn't many happy memories to draw from since I got this depression when I was younger. I wish I had a few more years before the depression hit.