Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Half-wit, May 12, 2009.

  1. Half-wit

    Half-wit New Member

    Sorry for ranting in cyber space.

    The first of my troubles started when I was just younger. My mom was a violent alcoholic. She'd beat my step brother, and me and my sister. None of us discussed this with my dad or anyone. I myself thought it was normal family behaviour. My older sister was the one who aventually went to my dad about it. He was outraged and divorced my mom right away.
    My sister became more goth and had taken up pummeling me, and threatening me with knives. I'm not sure if this was her way of dealing with her own pain. I started becoming more withdrawn and alienated by my fellow school peers. I was dubbed monster and freak, only ever making one friend. Who seemed to turn on me whenever I needed help.
    During my high school years I was humilated more times that I could count. My selfesteem hit rock bottom. I was a bit overweight, so I began taking illegal diet pills almost killing myself with a heart attack when I overdosed. I began to get weary of taunting and teasing. I began to skip school completely, and opted for the public library to read. During a tiff with my sister she finally pushed me to far and I attacked back. I geuss she got the message cause we made up right after. Around this time my moms alcoholism began to catch up with her. She began to get mentally Ill. She became under the illusion that there were people after her. During this time she overdosed 3 times. And to my horror stabbed herself in the stomach. When everyone else my age was having fun at prom, I was trying to convince my mom not to roll naked in the snow(Yes she actually did this).
    Which brings me to now. I took a year off to try and get my head in order. Got a job(a crappy dead end job). I decided to help my dad pay bills and maybe take some recreational classes. My sister is pregnant, my mom's in the looney bin and my dad has taken drinking. I don't have any friends, never had any relationships(Though I'm starting to get offers. I'm not sure how I feel about relationships now at the moment). I'm uneasy about the future. I want to go to college, and maybe get my life sorted out. I don't know right now. :unsure:

    Anyway, sorry for the messy rant.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    It's okay, rant as much as you want to!!
    It's okay to take some time and decide what you want to do with the future. Is there something you're interested in that you'd like to major in if you went to college?
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    It is not selfish to want to get your life in order..I applaud you wanting to go to college.. Now adays you need that degree to land a decent job.. You don't want to end up doing manual labor the rest of your life..I did manual labor for years and now that I am an old fart I am paying for it physically..Take the time and look out for yourself.. Your parents are adults and have to take the good with the bad..I wish you all the best...