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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by anonymousihs, Sep 4, 2012.

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  1. anonymousihs

    anonymousihs Active Member

    I just started school after a lot of crap including bullying. I'm not me anymore. I always wanted attention but now I don't feel like talking at all. I want my olde self back. :/ I don't like people anymore. I feel betrayed every time I look at someone. I want to be happy again but sometimes people say such hurtful things, I can't just forget them. Some of my friends still want to be friends with people who made mylife hell before.
  2. I know that feeling. It's like u don't want to be bother. Why try when it's only going to lead to disappointment....I'm going through that as well. But I'm trying to focus on me and the things I need to do and the things I enjoy. There has to be something that will take you mind off of the negativity.

    I wish I could take my own advice sometimes. I know it's hard. But let's try!
  3. anonymousihs

    anonymousihs Active Member

    Thanks for replying. The only thing that takes my mind off the negativity is drinking. But my roommate doesn't drink and she's really nice so I don't want her to hate me so I'm trying to stay off it but it's just making me even more depressed.
  4. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    When I first read this, I assumed you were in grade or middle school... because I remember kids acting like that even when I was young. Now I read that you are drinking and you have a roommate, so I am assuming you're adult age and in college. If this is indeed college that this is happening at, I am quite upset. My tax money is going to young men and young women who get "student loans" and other forums of financial aide that many will never pay back, and they are acting like children instead of concentrating on their studies??????

    Absolutely sickening (them... not you).

    I'm sorry you are experiencing this. I don't know the severity of this, but you know that you are in the driver seat of your own life and you don't need to listen to words from other people. Blow them off. Ignore them. Focus on school and when not at school and when not studying or doing homework, focus on the things that you enjoy (your hobbies, pass times, etc.). Don't let other people influence your happiness - create your life on your own.
  5. Samara

    Samara Account Closed

    Anonymousihs, at your age, and with your circumstance of not being able to permanently leave or get rid of your past aggressors, because you are in school.. (they will be there year after year, until you finish); I am going to recommend something else here for you: humour.

    It is something that nobody can take away from you, it makes you sociable again, it allows you to be happy again, and it gives you the ability to have the freedom to let go of certain things, and move past others as they happen.

    Humour for you, could come through watching things that you find funny, like funny dance videos (Michael Jackson Dance Fail, funny Indian Wedding Dance etc...), comedies making fun of normal movies (Scary Movie, Space Balls, Shrek), watching comedians (Russel Peters, Fluffy, Eddie Murphy etc....), or it could come from yourself, you could adapt some sarcastic humour that you say aloud to others, to sort of get them to buzz off.

    Or you could adapt a very lighthearted humour that pokes fun of everything and everyone (class clown/world is your oyster type of personality).

    There are many ways to bring it into your life... but it seems like you maybe could use a good laugh again, and you could definitely use the ability to be able to bring a laugh from a very intense and otherwise emotionally draining situation.

    Is there anybody that you know of you who can do this with easily? Or is there one of your friends whom you find funny?

    Or is there someone new that you can find to kind of do this with?

    It's very important for you, because as you said, you are kind of stuck in the situation where your friends are acquainted still with the bullies/aggressors, and obviously it would kind of be hard to get out of that situation anyway, when it's a 5 times a week scenario, for most of the year, for however many years to come.

    Can you poke fun at these people for what they did to you, or poke fun at something about them? Make your current group laugh about it? Make them see that you are more than just this kind of person who is like "oh look what they did to me". I am not saying that is how you are coming across, but to other 'kids'... it can definitely make a difference as to how they continue to treat you as friends, or if they listen to you or not either.

    If they have not taken you seriously when you were serious, then try to see if they will take you serious when you start to make it sound funny, and make them out to be bozo's and silly billies etc...

    To maybe give you an example, find an aggressor and comment on their clothes. say something like "See that right there? That's what someone looks like when they let their mom dress them. I wonder if he had to hold her hand over on the way to school too?"

    You know, make light of the person or the situation. It doesn't have to be true, and doesn't have to be super malicious either, but could just be a funny statement, about something very generic.

    Another example: "You know I offered that guy some food once... because I saw him picking his nose over there, and he ate it. I thought maybe he doesn't get a lot of lunch money or something. He got all huffy, so I just said that my Maa is a good cook, and he doesn't know what he's missing out on".

    ;) Just some silly stuff, but I am trying to portray my ideas here, if you want to implement it with that group of friends, and get them to side with you; then maybe this lighter side could bring them around. Kids are about having fun anyway, so don't forget that. So any chance to poke fun at something, to laugh, or to get a kick out of anything... they will likely take up that chance, without much thought. You could be the leader of such a thing, instead of always being sidelined by it all.

    While you are more mature, and think more about things than them, it gives you an advantage too, to be one step ahead of them... and to know why they are the way they are, and to basically know what they like and want and deliver it.
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