Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by nightfallagain, May 5, 2014.

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  1. nightfallagain

    nightfallagain Well-Known Member

    Getting to do what I want is an option I give myself - it has nothing to do with outside approval. Stay aware of what you are feeling so that you can catch yourself before you make someone else the cause of your emotional state - remember, this is giving your power away. The best conversations are those that you initiate with an open heart and no blame for anyone, including yourself. I preach it, I don't utilize my own affirmations. I really do hate myself and that is why I must raise up the courage to do what I must.
  2. Concrete_Angel

    Concrete_Angel Forum Buddy

    Good words :hug:
  3. nightfallagain

    nightfallagain Well-Known Member

    Thanks Concrete_Angel but words can only do so much. I have many of them I do not write here and I want to burn my books. Yet, I want to donate them to my psychiatrist or therapist for study. They think, and I probably make them believe, I am of stable mind. I am not. I struggle day to day and wonder why the "al-mighty" let's me live. I pray for death and for them to take me in my sleep. I awake every morning disappointed to find I have to deal with another day and pretend it is okay. I plan, but am a perfectionist at the worst of times, but there must be a reason I am still alive. I know what, and how...just when and it's all about timing which I feel will come soon
  4. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Maybe the al-mighty is letting you live because while there is life there is hope and grace that our condition can be turned around, and you can find the tools necessary to make your mind into your best friend, instead of something that is working against you? I have the details of a counsellor who has devoted his life to spreading this message, I can PM them to you if you'd like - does phone/Skype counselling for those not in New Zealand (which is just about the whole world, lol!)
  5. girlgonebad

    girlgonebad Member

    good words you make me feel better
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