Blanking off.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Beka, Jun 28, 2014.

  1. Beka

    Beka Well-Known Member

    I know someone on here MUST blank off too.

    But I blank off all day, every day.

    The only time when I've let myself go and be happy is when a friend gave me mandy.

    I want to stop blanking off. I know because I have BPD this means I will feel the full intensity of my emotions rather than just little slithers of them but I'm tired of not feeling.

    Any tips?
  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    I think that the danger with diagnoses such as BPD is sometimes they persuade you that you are not "normal" - you have BPD and this means you will feel the full intensity of your emotions rather than little slithers of them... I am unsure what persuades you that all people do not feel the full intensity of their emotions. I can assure, people without BPD have just as much capacity for emotional intensity. I do not know what, if any, therapy you are getting. I do understand the 'blanking' you describe. When you are too afraid to feel because you do not know if you can cope with the pain/fear/anger/etc that you are burying.

    My 'tips' are not especially helpful perhaps, but my first would be to accept that emotions - intense emotions - are normal. They are not a result of some diagnosis. BPD might mean that you lack the tolerance or coping strategies developed by most people to deal with negative emotion but it doesn't make your emotions 'more' than anyone else. Believe and trust that everyone feels those intense emotions and for the most part, people are okay. Not right away perhaps - but intense emotion does not often break people. Feeling it is not going to be worse for you than for anyone else, and like everyone else you DO have a capacity for tolerance. Trust yourself a little bit.

    I don't know what it is that you do to 'blank off' so I do not know how to advise you in terms of stopping it. Telling yourself that your emotions are okay would be a good start. It is okay to feel how you feel. How you feel and how you choose to react to those feelings are separate things. Feeling something does not automatically dictate a bad outcome. It is okay to feel - try convincing yourself of that - it would be a good first step to allowing yourself to do so.

    Stay safe :hug:
  3. Beka

    Beka Well-Known Member

    I didn't even know that I was doing it until the psychiatrist told me I was. He told me that I avoid and "get rid of" my emotions in order to avoid a possible mess that they could make. That's not mostly true. If I hold back from anger say for example it's because I know that it wouldn't help the situation at all.
    I don't even know what it is that I do in order to blank off. I thought that I was just being normal at first and now apparently it isn't normal at all.

    I'm supposed to be starting group therapy. For a while I was scared because I knew that BPD's could react with intense anger and I knew I had that, but I didn't know that I was capable of controlling it and now I know I am so I'm not sure why I still blank off. Because It's easier? Because I'm just on auto-pilot to do it?

    All I've done is surround myself with people who would understand IF I ever overreacted. I guess the other stuff just comes with time.