Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Jesus, Jun 10, 2009.

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  1. Jesus

    Jesus New Member

    Okay. Pretty much everything has been conistently suck-ish since about early '04. But, it was a consistent suck indeed. So it didn't really bother me much. I've always been lower class as far as money goes. But honestly that doesn't bother me much. I'm not really into materialism. However, due to the effects of my being lower class, the only people I had when I was younger was myself and an abusive brother because my Mom was usually working. And when she wasn't working she was yelling at me over something. My parents never got married, and when I was born they split up. So I was born a bastard. Lol. I still don't talk to, or see my parents much now. But this is by personal decision. I could see them any time I like. But my mom lives with her boy friend and my dad lives with his girlfriend and his girlfriend's two kids. So it's a rather awkward position. One of the more recent things that's bothered me is the fact that, despite my mental quirks, I've always been rather popular in school. But recently this has changed. I basically have NO friends it seems. And the MAJOR thing that pretty much pushed me over is my best friend. I'm in LOVE with a girl. When I say love I can't stress it enough. It is LOVE. Love isn't even a powerful enough word to describe the feelings I have for her. And I accept the fact that I'm nonexistent to her. But she constantly contacts me because she wants to know something about my best friend. She likes my best friend. Quite frankly, I don't really want to harm others around me because I know there are people who would care if I killed myself. But, to be honest, I think it's more important to acheive what I want than to let them control everything I do. I've considered the ways I could do it. I narrowed it down to Nitrogen Asphyxiation, Carbom Monoxide, hanging, or an overdose of some sort.

    The overdose seemed appealing so I'm going to try it.

    Tl;dr: I'MMAH DO IT!
  2. hardcore

    hardcore Well-Known Member

    Who knows what tomarrow brings. What the girl changes her mind. What if you find another girl. The best reason to stay alive is because one great thing in life can make all the suffering worth it.
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