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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Fadingstar, Mar 26, 2008.

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  1. Fadingstar

    Fadingstar Guest

    im sitting here now,waiting for my girlfriend to come home, razors in hand,ready to give them to her, i want to stop, but the thought of not having them is driving me nuts

    so one last time...........................................maybe.

    i couldnt resist, am now sitting here waiting for girlfriend to come home, bleeding......a lot

    would it just be easier to cut deeper and end it all??

    she'll be home soon.................
    Please help :help:
  2. titanic

    titanic Well-Known Member

    Your pain is so great that you resort to cutting / hurting yourself. (((hugs)))

    Please get some attention for your wound. Do you need a & e? Please clean it up if you haven't yet done so.
    Put the blades away please.

    What sparked this off tonight?
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 26, 2008
  3. tired eric

    tired eric Member

    please call 911 and get help from the bleeding. do not cut deeper. the fact you want her to take the razors and for her to see means you do want help. i know, i am there too. not with razors but i have been close all week. be glad you have someone there who cares and call!
  4. Fadingstar

    Fadingstar Guest

    i dont know what sparked it off, i want to stop, really i do but i cant, i feel like im stuck in a glass bowl watching the world go by, a nobody, i feel empty, nothing, cant even feel the pain from the cut, only realisation i have that ive done it is the blood, its everywhere, am wiping it off keyboard as i type.
  5. tired eric

    tired eric Member

    stop typing and compress the cuts to slow the bleeding and call. you typed here for a reason, we all do. ultimately we want help. don't end this way....think about it. your gf deserves better than to have your last communication in the world to be over the internet with me!!! come on.
  6. titanic

    titanic Well-Known Member

    How are you feeling?
  7. titanic

    titanic Well-Known Member

    Has it made you feel better or worse?
  8. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    I'm not a cutter (I used to a little but never deep). If you've hit a blood vessel or something (and it sounds like it), it's probably not going to be easy to stop the bleeding on your own. You should see a doctor. Please take care of yourself. :hug:
  9. Broken Wings

    Broken Wings Well-Known Member

    If it won't stop bleeding, you really REALLY need to call for help. That you want to have someone take the knives is wondeful, and you'll feel a lot lighter having done so, but you have to get there first! So please, take care of the wound, don't lose too much blood!

    I know it's hard to resist the knives, but once you've done it for a while, it gets easier, and it's a real confidence builder. It helps if you really trust and respect the person you give them to, because then your respect for them pulls you through the hardest times, I know, because I gave my knives to someone once in December and am still cut-free (It feels really good to know I don't have to rely on it all the time, even if there are times I wish I had it back. )

    So please, make sure you take care of that wound, so that you can see your girl, and make the promise that'll take a burden off your shoulders.
  10. titanic

    titanic Well-Known Member

    You feel numb, and as though your trapped in a bowl watching everyone else.
    I can identify with this feeling.
    Please come back to us today and talk. Is your wound ok? I hope your girlfirend is of some support for you.
  11. Fadingstar

    Fadingstar Guest

    yeah my girlfriend is heaps of support, she left me this morning, she cant cope with it anymore, should have cut deeper afer all
  12. titanic

    titanic Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you didn't cut any deeper than you already did. Thank you for coming back and posting here. My friend (who also SH) and I were very concerned about you last night.

    Your girlfriend finds it difficult to cope with the issues you are experiencing?! It can't be easy for either of you. How long have you been together? It is really hard to offer support sometimes because you can't stand to see the pain nor understand how it is for the other person. For some, it's easier to 'run away' rather than to stick it out through thick and thin. It's the fight or flight response ehh?!
    And people get scared. Is that what is happening?
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2008
  13. Fadingstar

    Fadingstar Guest

    she cant cope with the cutting, and with the thought of coming home to find me dead, how leaving is going to help i dont know, it just makes me want to do it even more, we've been together 2 years, shes my best friend and the only person who ive ever felt "myself" with, i understand it is hard for her, i really do, i never meant to hurt her, but she doesnt seem to realise that the cutting isnt a want, its something i cant control, especially when im feeling as depressed as i am at the moment. i had stitches last night, and now i just feel like ripping each one out. am i such a bad person?? but thank you for your concern last night, i just dont know how im going to make it through the night without her
  14. bluefish

    bluefish Well-Known Member

    I understand how desperate and lonely you must feel, having the one person that you want to help you walk off - it happened to me and the feeling is one of immense pain.

    if you cant stop bleeding you MUST seek medical help. You could lose consciousness or your wound may get infected. I urge you to please take care of yourself first!!

    She may have left, but WE ARE HERE to help you!
  15. titanic

    titanic Well-Known Member

    She is afraid, I suspect, and it may be creating in her a sense of hopelessness. Your girlfriend is likely to be feeling a sense of failure at not being able to help and make things better for you, which might explain why she's run away coz actually she can't cope with her feelings either, especially towards you, the one she loves! Perhaps because she loves you it's tearing her apart, she feels inadequate to change anything and feeling a sence of failure in herself and of failing you.

    How are you coping at the moment? Is there any way you can get some help for your depression / SH?
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 2, 2008
  16. titanic

    titanic Well-Known Member

    Why are you not able to be yourself with others?
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