I can't take this no more. I can never do anything right. I seriously can't. I deserve shit. When i get it the other people apologise for it. Don't say sorry!! i deserve it!! everything i fucking get!! bloody hell!! what does it take to get you all pissed at me!! how much damage do i have to do!?!?! Why can't you all get pissed at me. Do me a favor please!! Why do you have to care?! why does he have to care?! why did have to say that to me?! Its just making it harder. A few people are keeping me here. Those people know who they are. Why can't they just give up on me! why care! why! why! WHY!!!!!! I don't deserve your friendships at all. Don't deserve any kind of love. Don't deserve any kind of happiness. Why can't you all see that!! Wanna know what i'm like. Not too long ago i tried cutting my wrist's. Knife weren't sharp enough. Need vodka. Someone on here told me once that vodka would help with that. So i need to get vodka. Gonna have some Bacardi. We never have an proper alcohol in the house. Found some tho. Not much but it will do me till when i get a bottle of vodka. I'm sick of this shit. Sick of my life. Just gonna get off my face on alcohol and hope for the best.