I'm a fucking piece of shit and deserve to die.. All I fucking do I hurt people and make them want to get the fuck away from me... I have no friends.. No one cares for me.. I'm failing in school and can never do anything right.. I should just fucking pull the trigger and end it... I'm tired of the pain I'm tired of trying to be normal... No one would give a shit if I died.. I'd be better off dead than here to be seen as a failure to everyone! Yea that's my stupid fucking rant...
John I know ur going through such a tough time at the moment, and im really sorry! I can relate to alot of what ur saying. I kno it feels like this will never ease or go away, but i promise u it will! We put so much emphasis on school, and sure it is important, but in the end of the day its ur happiness thats most important. I bet that if u got urself under control and started to b a bit more positive, it would reflect in ur grades at school. Happiness is a very powerful thing and i hope that some day soon u get to feel it! Hang in there!
Its so hard to think positive when everything around me is crap.... everything i do is looked at as a failure by everyone i know so it kinda kills my "think positive" crap.... and im sure if i was a little happier i would do better in school but that wont happen anytime soon.... :sad:
I care for you. :hug: What do you think makes you a failure, besides not doing well in school? Don't ever feel like you have to be "normal"--just do what makes you happy. School isn't everything...I always did well but was still never happy with myself. But maybe if you focus on it, you could keep yourself distracted from the negative things as well as bring your grades up, and maybe you'd feel better about yourself. Or do something else that would make you happy. I'm sure you're not a failure at everything. Just hang in there...I'm here for ya. :hug:
Jean Piaget always believed that people develop mentally in different ways and at different speeds - meaning they'll only change when they're ready to, that way they are better suited for their environment. Over the years, you will gradually possess the skills to ignore destructive critisizm, and remain more focused on the things that are really important in life. Understand that this will come with time, and in order for those skills to develop, you must first learn to stretch your patience longer than previously. We're all learning, but most people don't know that much psychology, nor take the time to learn about these things in order to understand ourselves and others better. Realize that by not exhibiting the same behavior as them you have a reached a higher level of cognitive development, and must be more patient with both them and yourself. Their behavior WILL NOT always affect you. You still have much more to achieve with your life, don't waste it by ending it. When we focus so much on the gloom, despair, and despondency we become oblivious to our everyday accomplishments because we're so preoccupied with negative thoughts. Again, this is something you will learn to overcome. Even if you don't see it, believe me when I say you are achieving at things in life.
Hun, do let the past abuse fool you. You aren't a bad person, and yuou don't deserve to die. :hug: I'm here if you wanna talk.
