I just figured out I was raped by my father. Repeatedly over many years. Didn't remember anything until Christmas day this year. And now it feels like life is turned upside down. I was at home for the holidays and something triggered the memories. And I couldn't leave until the next day. Ever since I've felt so ashamed. I don't know how to talk about things. I've always been someone that everyone else goes to and I don't know what to do. I tried talking to a friend and she said "yeah but it's over right?". Real helpful. I don't get close to many people. I have friends, but none that I lean on. And I don't know how to deal with this. I'm a mess and I can't stop making this hurt. I don't have a T and don't really know how I'd start by saying "hi I was molested" which is probably what I need to do. Can't imagine telling anyone face to face. And New Years is bringing back a flood of feelings of things that happened and I'm just lost. Ahhh hell, why am I bothering to try to get this out. What's the point anymore?