This is really hard to say but I think you all understand. I recently remembered that when I was about 5 my babysitter's son had told me to some things. I can't remember who it was exactly (I had two babysitters who both had sons), how many times, what I did, or anything more. I have this desire to find out who it was but I also don't. I hate the memories and when I was with a guy recently I had terrible flash backs. I've talked to my therapist but he isn't much help. He helped when I first told him but now I just don't know what to do to get over it.