Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by BornFree, Nov 25, 2013.

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  1. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    Blocked... its how I feel in life but now H has blocked SF on my laptop I am literally shaking I can't do this anymore I can't live asking permission for everything all the time. I have to ask for money and permission to do anything and now the one place I felt someone cared has been taken away from me.
    I can't do this thing called life when I cant live or breathe freely. Its thid panic this terror that drove me to it last time. I am scared and panicked I need to go do it tonight. I need it all to stop end.
    I cant just do SF on my phone I don't know how to work my phone properly.
    Oh God am I overreacting? I love my kids but what can I give them when I cant stand up for myself let alone them.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hugs to you hun dam him for being such a controlling ass. If you can hun get to public library i used the internet there when my computer was down you can access SF there without him knowing hugs
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'll help you learn to use your phone, or help you in any way to stay connected. :hug: Don't give up.
  4. FrainBart

    FrainBart Staff Alumni

    Do you know on if he has blocked sf via your router, or just on your computer, because if it is just your computer I can help you get it back.just use incognito mode so that your search/use history is not saved so he can't tell if you've been on it or not.

    No way in hell is it his right to dictate what sites you can and cannot access. :hug:
  5. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Sweetie, do you know that sf was not accessable for us all for more than 24 hours? We all got the message "FORBIDDEN You don't have permission to access /forum.php on this server." Additionally, a 403 Forbidden error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request.

    Could it be that? or did he for sure block your access? If he did, then I bet some computer saavy person can help you to unblock it. Because we need you to be here. And you need your SF friends and family. FailingHope ( above) can hopefully help. And by the way, you deserve much better than to be treated as you are by him. I would say more about what i think about what he does and says. But I have a self proclaimed mandate to be polite. Someone will figure out how to keep you here on your laptop. Because we DO need your beautiful soul and heart here. I know I do.
    :hug: :flowers: :pinkheart:
  6. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    Flowers, it was a relief that I recovered access to this site today. For the last 2 days, I was "Forbidden". I thought I was penalized for entering something and was banned from this site. Apparently, I was wrong. Glad to be back!
  7. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Yes, I know mpang. It was frightning for many, for that same reason. Did you see this thread started by WildCherry?
    :hug: :flowers: for you
  8. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    OMW :grouphug: THANK YOU everyone!!! Yes, it must have been that issue you said Flowers, this time as I am now back on my laptop. H has blocked me before he put this "protection" thing on that kept blocking SF and coming up with this police dog picture saying I did not have permission to access SF! At the time I argued saying I needed access to the web for the business and argued & got him to take it off, but he got all angry & stroppy and said "Fine then! BUT I will find another software that blocks and you won't even know" so yes I freaked especially as I could access SF on my phone.
    I am still in a total state I live in fear not knowing what he is going to do or access, I changed my SF password as he kept dropping hints with specific details that he could only know if he was reading my posts here.
    TE you are lovely, very dear to me & this site. WildCherry Thank you so much, as usual you are totally amazing, a real lifeline to me & so many! I really need to learn to use my phone. I will message you.
    Failing Hope I wish I knew how he blocks me I don't know how to tell, at least for the time being I'm able to get on here. I'm so not IT minded and probably am a techno phobic, I just can't get my head around things sometimes especially while I'm in such a panic lately.
    He is out the house and I am still terrified , my chest is tight, my throat constricted and burning so I can't breathe & all I want to do is run, leave now while I still can.
    How do I know when he will block me again, like last time. I can't remember what it was other than that annoying little police dog with his hat.
    I should be working but instead I'm struggling to breathe let alone think and I'm responsible for paying other peoples salary, oh God! Who am I to even try I keep having flash backs of my Dad and seeing my husbands clenched fists makes it worse and brings it all back everytime. Its Christmas our busiest period & Im falling apart. Urgghh evenly selfishly rambling on here. Sorry.
    Oh and Flowers, last but by no means least, you are a real treasure Thank you :hug:
    I need to immerse myself in my music and try breathe before I totally freak out, I don't know how to stop this feeling of terror, I'm a grown woman I don't understand why I am so pathetically terrified & powerless. this gripping feeling in my throat and chest is going to finish me.
  9. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Ditsy, I hope you can hear me when I say this. When adult women and men are, emotionally or physically abused and degraded by their husband or wife, it is serious. They lose trust and security. They lose more than that. They lose confidence and a basic sense of themselves. The spouse literally robs them of their power. Now only that, they never know when its going to happen again. So they live in constant fear. This makes the abuse 24/7. of course this is the same thing as with children who are abused. But I am talking about the effect of spousal abuse on a psychological level right now. The results are devistating. How strong you are to be functioning even on the level you are. I want you to know this. Because I can promise you that this is very correct... and quite serious.

    I hear you. And so do those of us at sf who know and love you. Thats so many of us who can feel your good heart. It is really quite exceptional. Even though I understand that because of abuse you have no way to see that.

    I would like you to contact me if he blocks you from getting on to sf again. I do not check emails every day. But I promise you that if you write Ditsy in the subject line I will see it and make sure someone here gets this message. Then hopefully someone here can figure out how to unblock what he has done.

    Psychological abuse and control is devistating. And very damaging. And the person being abused and controlled lives under the veil of fear of when it will happen again. With no feeling of control or power over their own life. :hugtackles: :pinkheart: for your very beautiful heart
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