Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by SaidDave, Mar 25, 2010.

  1. SaidDave

    SaidDave Banned Member

    School was weird. Socializing is awkward. Being in front of people gives me nervous twitches. Fuck it. Gotta learn to wear a mask and such. My shyness gets me props because I don't drag a story out. I make things short and simple. I sit next to people that are stupid. They don't know simple arithmetic. They call me smart. I'm not smart. Smart is my friend. Somebody who I want to be like. Knowing so many languages, how to play on peoples emotions, how to connect with people, etc. I often emulate this person.

    People in my class are there for shitty reasons. I'm there because I want to learn. They are there because they are desperate for a future. I wouldn't want just that to be my future. I need more. Nothing has brought excitement to me that is "important". A lot of things that are supposed to be landmarks in life don't mean anything to me. It's just another experience to me. I hope I can find something that I love and care about. A passion that I can actually get angry about when I don't succeed and cry when I triumph. I am just bored.