Blood on the Floor

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by Hangman, Dec 29, 2010.

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  1. Hangman

    Hangman Well-Known Member

    I found my brothers girlfriend in his apartment yesterday. She had attempted suicide by cutting her wrists.

    You were lying on the floor
    As I walked through that door
    Spread out like Jesus on the cross
    Drowsy from blood loss

    The moment I saw you I feared the worst
    But my feet raced there first
    That’s when I saw the blood on your wrists dripping to the floor
    Blood everywhere, never had I seen more

    I told my brother “I’ll call you back”
    Dropping to my knees as my mind lost track
    “Paula, what the fuck did you do”
    A moan and a twitch in your body got through

    Life was still there to be found
    My relief paralyzed the air around
    I came to my senses as time was not to waste
    Up to my feet and toward the bathroom with haste

    A roll of paper and a towel for each wrist
    Wrapping the wounds with clenched, weary fists
    911 dialed on my phone
    Then the waiting, feeling fucking all alone

    You are still alive, but to me you are dead
    For you this is all a game, you’re so fucking messed up in the head
    You have a little son and my brothers love
    And leaving them behind is what you were thinking of

    I’m glad you didn’t die, but not for your sake
    I’m just relieved to not see my brother break
    But if I hated you before, I hate you now more than ever
    You better get your fucking life together, It’s now or never
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I can hear you anger your frustration at her. Time to get her some real help lets hope they do for the sake of your brother and her son. i am glad you came in and helped her.
  3. ~Young-Violet~

    ~Young-Violet~ Banned Member

    Your poem is very strong and has alot of emotions. I'm glad you care about your brother. You should be proud that you helped her just in time so weldone :hugtackles: You seem very angry and frustrated with her actions she shant have done that, she could have hurt alot of people so weldone :hug:
  4. Romancer

    Romancer Well-Known Member

    it's a strong poem, indeed. i like it though,you can really tell how you feel.
  5. Hangman

    Hangman Well-Known Member

    thank you guys for the thoughtfull comments.
    I do feel very angry with her, I dont believe for a second that she really wanted to die... I think she wanted my brother to walk in there and find her, to bind him for ever.

    Fortunatly and unfortunatly, I was the one to find her. I know that I handled the situation better than my brother would have, and he would have been more damaged. But I cant say I was unaffected by it, I just cant unsee that sight, when everything stops moving around me, I can't get rid of those images.
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You need to get some help for you now okay get a therapist to help you get these images to go away. She is sick this girl i hope they get her help too. Most important now is to get you some support okay hugs
  7. ~Young-Violet~

    ~Young-Violet~ Banned Member

    I agree with the above posts, nobody should have to deal with emotions you are going through seeking help for this situation may be hard, do you have a therapist or couseller? If not couldd yoou go to your GP? You are not alone, you have everyone on Suicide Forums.
    :hug: :hug: :cheekkiss:
  8. Hangman

    Hangman Well-Known Member

    I'm starting a longterm psychotherapy in 10 days. I'll probably get a lot of help there :)

    But most of all, I'm really happy about coming here on sf. There's always someone that supports you, and helps you through rough times:)

    Thank you all on sf, you are great!
  9. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Glad to hear you are getting some help that is good news Keep us updated on how you are doing okay hugs
  10. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    wow what a great written poem, Im sorry you had to see and feel what you did. I wish you all the luck in school and I hope you continue to reach out to help and accept help from the ones here.
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