Blood Under the Willows

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by twowolves80, Aug 15, 2016.

  1. twowolves80

    twowolves80 Darkness Incarnate; don't even bother

    There was once a brook
    splashing quietly along the banks
    dotted with weeping willows,
    and I was content to sit
    under their gentle bowers,
    draped in golden light
    sifting through their canopies
    filled with the song
    of blue birds.

    I was content, I say,
    to bask in it's spray,
    cool and refreshing
    on my cheeks,
    washing away my tears
    of anguish
    at life's lash,

    never desiring to stray
    beyond it's banks
    with my inelegant steps
    except where the footpaths
    were laid before me.

    Such a pleasant idyll,
    to have a bubbling brook
    that I could admire
    with longing of dreams
    from afar,
    renewing my strength
    by proximity.

    Laying amongst
    the reeds and weeds
    was my downfall--
    how easily the words
    slipped from the brook
    in quiet whispers
    as my lifeblood ran
    in spidery traces,
    into the water
    and carried away.

    I am torn in twain,
    pain beyond imagining,
    my friend, the betrayer,
    why?

    I'd have given you
    the world
    if you had but asked,
    but instead
    you sent your cruelty
    by proxy,
    your agent to deliver
    death to my heart,
    another scar
    to adorn my arm
    among the others,
    one more burden
    to carry into my grave.
     
    Witty_Sarcasm likes this.
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    What can I say that I haven't already said? I always enjoy reading your words, they're like music to my ears. Sad but well written at the same time.
     
  3. Very good poetry! I really love how you paint the nature scene to perfection. I could visualize all that you wrote about.

    On a deep level, I'm sorry that you've encountered the reeds and the weeds. The first four sections really speak of a beautiful and serene place, in my opinion. That's the sort of place we all dream of. So long as we avoid the reeds and the weeds, and keep our eyes on the oasis, perhaps we will see the lovely and ideal dreamworld become a reality? Again, a very good poem. I really enjoyed reading it
     
    twowolves80 likes this.
  4. twowolves80

    twowolves80 Darkness Incarnate; don't even bother

    Thank you for the feedback!