Blue and Crimson

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by twowolves80, Aug 17, 2016.

  1. twowolves80

    twowolves80 Darkness Incarnate; don't even bother

    I saw the bluebird again today,
    chirping happily,
    ignoring the blood running
    between its talons.

    It must be sated
    with the sacrifice,
    otherwise
    would it be so happy?

    I watch as it hops away
    from the carcass
    it has picked clean,
    with blood-flecked beak.

    Open your arms!
    I cannot hold the blade,
    stuck in purgatory--
    there is no escape.
     
    Witty_Sarcasm likes this.
  2. twowolves80

    twowolves80 Darkness Incarnate; don't even bother

    I didn't like the last verse. Here is the edited version:


    I saw the bluebird again today,
    chirping happily,
    ignoring the blood running
    between its talons.

    It must be sated
    with the sacrifice,
    otherwise
    would it be so happy?

    I watch as it hops away
    from the carcass
    it has picked clean,
    with blood-flecked beak.

    I try to free myself
    but there is no escape--
    the bluebird sings,
    my soul dies once more.
     
    Witty_Sarcasm likes this.
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I like both versions, you are really talented but you already know that ;)
     
    twowolves80 likes this.