blurred memory

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by gernet, Feb 25, 2009.

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  1. gernet

    gernet New Member

    i am pretty sure i was abused as a young child, all though i cant actually see what happened. i have flash backs of a hand on my throut, and a man standing over me. All i can here is the words dont tell anyone. I can see the figure of the man but i cant see his face or recognise the voice, although i feel like i know him. I have only just started seeing these flash backs the last 3 years or so. I am 29 yo now and i have been in councelling for a few years. My counsellor also thinks something may of happened. I wake up int he middle of the nite constantly feeling like im choking and sweeting really bad. I have never really been in relationship, although have had many partners. I would really like to have a relationship, but dont feel i could offer someone what they would deserve. When i have sex it feels like im not there and its gotten to the point where i feel like im not in myself in any situation. Therefore someone could easily feel that i dont really care for them. Does anyone else have an opinion on this? I am determined to go on and i believe i will have my answers some day, although it is hard as i am unable to feel emotion. I wonder if im just crazy
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 25, 2009
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    You're not crazy.

    If something did happen to you, then your mind will release the information to you as and when you can cope with it. That may be why these things have only come up recently, your mind might know that it is the right time to release this information, because you are seeing a counsellor.

    I think it's really important that you don't try and force yourself to remember anything because that could lead to false memories. Try to just allow your mind to cope with this, and not look too far down the road.

    Have you discussed ways with your therapist to ease your flashbacks? Or to help you cope with this?

    It's good that you are seeing a counsellor. Is she helping you?
  3. gernet

    gernet New Member

    Thanks for reply scum,
    yeah councellor did help in the beginning, but i reached a point where there is no more to say. She is still a good help because she knows me and is the only one that has any sort of understanding of me, but i feel its really me who will find the answers, as you said my mind will releae in time. I have tried a few things to relax like meditation and yoga. These help a little bit but its a slow process. She has tried to discuss drugs with me also, but im against taking them. I guess ill have to wait for my answers.

    Thanks again Scum
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