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Body Image

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by NoGood, Oct 8, 2009.

  1. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    I have no idea why im writing this thread, iver typed it twice now and deleted it.

    Body image is my weakness, its what gets me down and depressed and its most days. People who dont understand just say why dont you do something about it, as if its that easy, like ya wake up one morning and go hey im going to happy today and drop a tonne weight. Of course these are the confident, happy and beautiful people. As if they have ever felt the depression that some people feel.

    Im ranting now sorry. Im just wondering who else is in the same situation as me. I just dont wanna feel alone anymore. I know most people can relate to feeling down and depressed. But does anyone wake up in the morning and just feel ugly and hate yourself for being in this world and looking the way you do. I always notice people looking me up and down whether its on teh street, in a, mall, in a cafe, anywhere. But I thought some of it was paranoia untill I said to my boyfriend that I thought people where looking at me, he thought i was crazy untill he looked around as we walked from one end of the mall to the other and he actually counted the people giving me looks.

    Now, im going to point out that im not a morbidly obese person. Im 6ft and overweight. I just dont like me.

    I apologise for the rant. But i just couldnt type this a third time and delete it again haha. Thanks for reading.

    Miss Piggy :sadpanda:
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I know it's not as easy as waking up one morning and changing how you look. But at least with losing weight, it can be done. It's a slow process and takes a lot of work (I know, because it's something I'm working at too).

    I've noticed too that people pick up on how you feel about yourself. It might help to at least try and be somewhat confident ... to try and find some good qualities about yourself and focus on those qualities. People may be picking up on the fact that you don't like how you look.
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Kate I know this doesnt do you a lick of good now but I promise you as you age, mature, your looks and your weight arent what define you anymore. You can and will generally accept you for you. And not set your standards by what others think or say.

    Hun take a good look at yourself from the inside out instead of the outside in. You have a boyfriend. He obviously sees you for you. He enjoys you, all of you. I bet you have a great sense of humor, can usually make others laugh and feel good. You probably have goals that you are trying to achieve. You have friends and family that truly care about you. Kate that is all the good you from the inside.

    Not one person on this planet can say they love 100% of who they are on the outside. People are looking at you when you walk by. Maybe not so much for what you think, like your weight. Maybe more so for your height. A six foot tall woman would normally stand out in a crowd (no pun intended). I dont think people are looking at you for the reasons you think, but possibly just because you are taller. Take advantage of that hun. Walk around with a proud smile on your face. People will see that too.

    If you show confidence in yourself, others see and sense it too. And I think you'll find that the stares wont feel so disturbing then. Unless those people are actually saying as they pass, "oh my did you see that young lady, pity" then it is natural for our depression and darkness to make us "see" that people are being distainful towards us. It makes us see things that really arent there. It makes our hate and anger turn normal looks from others into some sort of judgement. Hun most times it is oursleves that are making things negative because we are in such a bad place emotionally and mentally. We are so busy judging and beating ourselves up that naturally we automatically think others do too.

    So set yourself some easy to obtain goals right now. No you dont need to loose 5 pounds by the time you have finished reading this. Instead go to the mirror look at the outside as well as the inside and smile. Do it again. And again. Think about one quality of your personality that you like and smile. Now look at yourself and see your eyes. You can see the smile the good feeling in your eyes!!! And others see that too. Let yourself like you!!! Like your boyfriend does, your family and your friends. Let yourself see what they do Kate.

    Hun let yourself love you. ..... smile .......and think about it ok?
  4. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I too think it's your height they are looking at. My grandmother was 5'8" and she was taller than most men. She was so happy when she found grandpa because he was 6'4".

    Taller people are looked up to (pun intended) in many ways. Being tall awes other people. Keep a smile for others and they will feel secure around you. It's amazing how that works. I've read studies about being tall.

    There is an advantage and a disadvantage to everything in life. My other grandma was 4'11". So was my mother in law and now my daughter. What amazes me is they all had very tall husbands and were pampered.

    I'm 5'6" and I'm an old work horse. :) (okay, sometimes I'm silly)

  5. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    Thank you so much folks for the replies. Im feeling a bit better today about everything but it is a battle.

    I told my Mum last night about how much it was getting me down, didnt go into much details but she understood and gave me a few hints and tips and told me she loved me anyway.

    My new attitude begins today and ill keep you all updated with how im going. And if anyone is on the same journey, let me know and we can motivate each other.

    Thanks again.
  6. JonathanK

    JonathanK Well-Known Member

    Those people suck
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 10, 2009
  7. JonathanK

    JonathanK Well-Known Member

    The truth of the matter is that humans are all a bunch of weird, freak mutants that are descended from pond scum, no matter how neuro or physically typical they are. The ideals of beauty are heavily defined by genetic programming, as well as social fickleness. Why do I say its genetically programmed. Well, babies show a bias for conventional beauty when they look at images of people's faces. They tend to prefer the more symmetrical ones. On the other hand, Europeans in the middle ages preferred pale skin, plumpness, and small breasts as ideals of beauty. Look at the Venus of Willendorf. It was a limestone fertility goddess carved by cavemen, and she would probably be described as morbidly obese by today's standards. To be a fertility goddess, though, her body type had to be the in thing for the culture that carved it. I've come to a philosophy that if I was as hideous as the Elephant Man, I wouldn't care what people think. If some kids made fun of me, I'd probably just claw up my hands and scare them off. Let me tell you that being overweight is not nearly as atypical as the elephant man's appearance either.

    People are just judgemental. If they make fun of you, its because they are just compensating for a lack of self worth in their selves. Its very selfish, pathetic behaviour, and you should not care what those people think, even if that's most of society. The truth is that a lot of people, even those attractive by today's standards, can be just as confused and uncertain about life as the next person. I mean, even if some people are absolutely in tune with life and their humanness, they're gonna be dead in in a few decades. All the wealth, power, popularity, and success really doesn't mean much beyond that. They might leave some of it to their kids, but their carcass is going to be rotting 6 feet under ground just like mine and yours.

    Taking this into consideration, my biological and psychological tendencies may initially lead me to be to believe the heard mentality, but, as a conscious being, it all seems pointless and trivial. Beyond that, my only goal in life is to be happy and make sure other people are happy too. If everyone aspired this as an ethic, there would be less or no wars. All of the problems in the world can be traced to the heard instinct, and the greed that's facilitated by it. Why is the heard such a valid component for most people? People want validation for their existence, and they get this through general acceptance from the heard. The downside is that the heard often tries to define what is not acceptable and that creates a reject group.

    The greed that's facilitated by it is just greed for influence over the heard that is primally and subconsciously important in so many people's minds. People believe in the heard so much that they want to have control over it. Money represents influence, and influence is power. Politicians are essentially the epitome of this. That's why government is so screwed up.

    Anyway, the heard is corrupt, artificial, shallow, and stupid. I don't have any respect for an establishment like that and it can go shove it.

    Live life for yourself and not the superficiality of others.
  8. JonathanK

    JonathanK Well-Known Member

    I'm probably being overly cynical. but I say that all with the best of intentions.
  9. Zaparc©

    Zaparc© Active Member

    That's very true. Because this world is filled predominately by assholes, they feel the need to exploit others' weaknesses. A lot of people know how I feel about my appearance, and they're always asking me questions about how I feel about myself, already knowing the answer to their questions themselves.

    I remember the times when I put on the confident act when I'd go out - hold my head up high, look straight ahead of me, and walk with a stride like nothing could get me down. It was intriguing how others would act differently towards me.