Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by blinky, Aug 20, 2008.

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  1. blinky

    blinky Active Member

    i have terrible insomnia and pretty bad depression, horrible thoughts and i'm always alone. so whats someone like me to do? drink! it's so good, i sleep so well after drinking so much. so what do i do? buy more and more. i dont want it to become a problem but it feels like its a slippery slope. its like every night i wanna get so drunk now, every night. ive never had problems before with booze but it feels like its the best and only medicine for me right now? puts me right to sleep giving me the best sleep ive had. but its not just sleeping before you suggest me other sleep aids, its just the buzz and the stumbling about its like i dont have any problems at all i dont know. you know what i mean? i guess its like i become someone else, and i'm not alone if i have booze with me
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Know exactly what you mean and it is A VERY SLIPPERY SLOPE!
    Before you know it the drink will be all you can think about.
    Quit now while you still can :hug:
  3. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    Exactly! Hey Blinky I'm John and I have 13 years of sobriety. I'm 44 years old battling a depression (we're trying different medications) which is nothing like the nightmare of active alcoholism during my twenties babe.

    . . . . I'll assume you're a girl; if I'm wrong, just change it to dude or something?

    Wait'll you reach that point where waking is a terrifying return to reality and you're looking desperately for where you that put your last drink. Night and day, babe. Slipping into alcoholism and living it are polar opposites.

    And you want this stage to just last and last forever, don't you?? (Actually, nobody's calling you an alcoholic--certainly not me--but given your serious depression Blinky, you're describing a dangerous slide (precursors) into the disease to a 'T'.)

    I will not tell you what to do; I won't insult your intelligence. If you're clinically depressed, I'm sure you know that the *real* wise move is to see someone about that and not keep covering with it drinking.

  4. blinky

    blinky Active Member

    Hey John :) yup I'm a girl.

    "Wait'll you reach that point where waking is a terrifying return to reality and you're looking desperately for where you that put your last drink. Night and day, babe. "

    To be honest with you I hadnt thought about that. I assumed it would stay like this forever yes, but i also knew from it being drilled into my head that alcohol is bad. I hadn't really known why bad,. I know i'm not an alcoholic but i don't want to be one. I figure drinking to put me to sleep every night, if thats not on the road to it I dont know what would be.

    I'd drink small stuff before, sparkling wine on new years, small drinks the equivalent of a beer, but I'd get really plastered on this harder stuff, whisky, and I'd sleep like a baby, still drunk on awakening even.

    I felt silly posting it but now i'm glad i did. You've seriously opened my eyes. I didnt have a drink that night or the night before, I really wanted one. But on the bright side I'm thinking about it less the more time passes by. It hasn't been a problem yet, but there were warning bells going off all over the place.

    Think it would be ok to still get just blind stinking drunk once in awhile though? And how often to not have problems? or is this something that's different for everyone? i spose it is. I've been pretty sheltered from alcohol so I don't know very much about it. I knew one guy who'd come over and drink constantly, and puke everywhere, but I didnt know his problems beyond that
  5. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member


    Would really like to see you get help for your loneliness and depression first and defo talk with that person about your love for alcahol. Is "getting blind drunk ok" here and there - oh, nooo. I can say that with assuredness because of the history you have presented us:

    "i dont want it to become a problem but it feels like its a slippery slope. its like every night i wanna get so drunk now, every night. ive never had problems before with booze but it feels like its the best and only medicine for me right now?"

    The slippery-slope analogy is SO accurate when you think about it.. Blinky if you drink for all the wrong reasons, an addiction to alcohalol can invisibly reach a point where you just can't turn back, no matter what. The monkey is on you.

    Madam you're best to stop now, completely. LOL, damn, sorry to be a such a killjoy but you can seriously overcome your problems through healthy avenues, ok? And booze seriously isn't one! :eek:hmy:

    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 23, 2008
  6. colt45

    colt45 Well-Known Member

    I have that problem too on some nights. I work so many odd times and I get very little sleep. I use booze as a sleep aid.
  7. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I drank myself stupid every day, all day, for nearly a year. It was so hard to stop after drinking so much and so often. I now have six weeks sober and I won't go back down that 'slippery slope' again. I almost broke my neck last time I fell down on that slope.

    I would urge you to stop now before you do become addicted. And what makes me think you may have a problem is that you think you may have a problem. I used to drink enough to lose consciousness every nite, but I would wake really early and shake really bad. An alcohol induced sleep is not real sleep. It's being passed out. I will never let myself go back to that awful life.
  8. GrimJim

    GrimJim Guest

    Well done blinky for thinking to post here in the first place- I guess that means you're starting to think it might be a problem.

    I certainly second what the others said. Those in sobriety of any length know how more able we are to cope with things sober- least's 6 weeks is fantastic, a new pb by a long way I understand, I'm almost 3 years, and john's 14 years is awesome. But we have one thing in common, regardless how long we're sober- we know it's just one drink and we're back on that slippery slope.

    There's only one way to stay sober- not have that first drink, becasue for most alkies it means another and another and another and pretty soon a bottle of spirits or a case of beers or a flagon of wine is history.

    Get professional help for the insomnia and depression if you can- that'll take the load off you and (with a bit of luck :wink: ) make the need for alcohol a bit less.

    Good luck blinky- keep on chatting!
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2008
  9. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    ... Yeah i was thinking. The psychology behind the philosophy of total and complete abstinence is tricky though, even deceptive.

    The more time you amass, it's not just that you get better and better and better (in every way), there's also the little gnawing that starts in back of your head whenever you even entertain the thought of what's on the line.

    And baby, let me tell you. What's on the line is this: You come to realize that not only would you break a devout commitment but that the act itself frees you to drink all you want.

    And that is a terrible, deadly thing. Breaking any length of sobriety actually means you have MUCH less to lose: You no longer need worry about losing 6 weeks or 6 months or 6 years because you have already forfeited that.

    Think on it. It's a fascinating and powerful argument for the total abstinence solution.

  10. bluebird002

    bluebird002 Active Member

    I gave up alcohol with difficulty 6 months ago because I was drinking in the morning/middle of the day and practically every day and was dependent on it as a crutch to take me out of things, even if I didn't drink huge amounts. I had been drinking for years and it seems like it creeped up on me.

    Alcoholism is a progressive thing and a good rule of thumb is that if you're questioning if you have a problem and you can't 'take or leave it', you probably have a problem. There's also a recommended number of units a week. If you can feel it slipping away from you, honestly, I would recommend that you quit now and save the horror stories of developing into full-blown alcoholism.

    I really hope you can do it. It is hard at first but it gets easier. Better to catch it early. You have to want to quit though. I'd quit smoking through many times of trying and failing and I was able to transfer that 'clicking' ability to quit smoking to quitting alcohol. Think of the amount of health you'll save from not drinking. Think of the money you'll save. Think of how you don't have to wrestle with the drink and the anxiety about your drinking any more.

    Can you go to your doctor and ask for a prescription for something to help you to sleep - diazepam, zopiclone or something.
  11. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    By the time (late last year) I thought I had a "problem", it was really bad. I knew last December I'd better stop drinking, and had so many failed attempts I thought I was hopeless. Went to rehab three times this year and still drank when I got home.

    I must have been 'practicing' sobriety cause I've been sober now 80 days! Almost twelve weeks! My life is getting better day by day. I NEVER want to go back down that slippery slope again. I know what's waiting for me there and I don't want to go there anymore.
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