Borderline Personality Disorder

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Johnkenerson71, Sep 4, 2013.

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  1. Johnkenerson71

    Johnkenerson71 New Member

    I suffer from this and one of the symptoms is suicidal thoughts. Lately they are getting worse. And my inner voice just keeps saying "you won't be missed". I'm taking my meds but I feel myself losing the battle everyday. I feel like it's almost time. I've had 2 failed attempts... And I'm afraid third time is the charm
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Is there anyone close to you that you can talk to?

    Just letting you know someone cares... here if you ever feel like talking. I'm glad you joined, and I hope you'll find help and support here.
     
  3. Johnkenerson71

    Johnkenerson71 New Member

    My ex-wife is the only one I talk to about and she may be one of my triggers. I treated her very badly and hurt her tremendously. I'm a bad person to the core and don't deserve to live
     
  4. Psych77

    Psych77 Well-Known Member

    You are not a bad person. You are trying to negotiate living with tremendous pain, because you have a skewed idea of yourself and your relationships with others. To get your needs met, you ended up hurting the people you loved the most. It's part of the disorder. No, she didn't deserve it, but I think if you reach deep down, you will find you didn't really want to hurt anybody. I'm guessing you had needs, you didn't know how to meet them, you panicked and did the only thing that made sense to you at the time. I wouldn't recommend that you go out and find somebody else to do it again (you don't sound like you've really figured out what exactly needs to change), but maybe you should look at how you need to be healed, and how you can change the way you think about yourself and about relationships, instead of giving up on yourself. It will take a lot of courage on your part to face what is inside you, but there is something in there that is worth fighting for.
     
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