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Borderline Personality Disorder

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by make_me_bad, Apr 26, 2007.

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  1. make_me_bad

    make_me_bad Well-Known Member

    first - i don't know if i'm posting in the right forum. if not, please move my thread, thank you.

    second - i realize that this will be a long and boring thread, and anyone who will read through it and offer their advice has my gratitude.

    hi, i don't post a lot but i've been here for about half a year now. i had been very depressed for quite a while prior to finding this site, and coming here has been a great alternative to cutting. i am now, for the most part, recovered, save for a few relapses. i will however be taking wellbutrin for the rest of my life.

    my girlfriend of four months now has some problems. she will not see a therapist nor will she use this site or any other. for the purpose of this thread i will refer to her as katie.

    katie is 16. her mother smoked and drank while carrying her, likely contributing clinically to her current depression. she is physically normal. katie's parents began abusing her before she turned 10, this continues today. this abuse ranges from being thrown into walls and into the floor to being smacked across the face with rings. she has also been abused by previous boyfriends. her father has her in karate specifically as an excuse for her bruises.

    katie has a strong mind and absolutely refuses to seek any help, including from child protective services. she has denied that anything was wrong when she's been investigated before and will continue to do the same.

    my girlfriend displays a lot of the behaviors that i did before my recovery. i am able to see her every day. she has cried on my couch and on my floor for hours at a time. she has my name, among other things, carved deeply into her skin, in a personal area. she persists in her delusions that she is worthless and that i am going to leave her, that i do not really love her, etc. she became very attached to me very quickly. she has climbed up on my balcony and put bottles of pills in her mouth, in order to prevent me from leaving her - something i have never intended to do. if i see other friends, she becomes jealous and angry. the same happens if she sees a number in my phone she doesn't like. she has become violently aggressive toward other girls in public whom she believed to be looking at me the wrong way. she insists that i am perfect and she will be with me forever. she has extremely unrealistic plans for the future, all of which she truly believes in.

    i care deeply for this person and i would not for one second judge her or criticize her for any of this, not with my experience. she is tremendously intelligent, as are most people that suffer from depression, and she is a whole person, nothing less. i have lost friends over her who insist that she is "controlling." this is true, but she can't help it, and she deserves a chance just like anyone else.

    i am however very concerned for katie's future. she is at times certainly a danger to herself, as are her parents. i don't know what to do if she won't seek help. i would like to be able to continue to support her, but the above suggests that she has borderline personality disorder. this would mean that any feelings she has for me are a product of spontaneous infatuation, and will thus subside without notice. this would deeply hurt me.

    i'd like to know if anyone here has any experience with bpd, as i currently don't believe that my girlfriend is incapable of love or honestly caring about someone, like the textbooks say. i would like to believe that our relationship is actually based on something. can anyone help me out with that?

    i'd also like any suggestions on what can be done for a person who won't seek professional help.

    i will be truly grateful to receive any responses, i understand that there are many more important issues here with people that are suffering much more than me. thank you to anyone who read my post.
  2. leptoon

    leptoon Well-Known Member

    Well, does she hear voices? Does she actually jump from one mood to the next VERY quickly?

    If she won't seek professional help, I suggest calling the local psychiatric hospital and seeing what they can do to help you. If she is a danger to herself or anyone else, she needs to be hospitalized until they can figure out whats wrong with her. In the case of not wanting professional help, she needs it but she doesn't know that she does because in her mind, she probably loves her parents to death (even her dad) and will do anything for them.

    My suggestion is this. Call the hospital. Tell them whats going on and see if they can help.

    If you want to talk further, my contact details are in my signature.

    Much love,
  3. black_angel

    black_angel Active Member

    I have that! I have been diagnosed in about 1½ year now.

    Katie needs help, she really does otherwise she is proabably going to taker her life or someone else. Is she cutting herself daily or just sometimes?
    It must be hard for you to just watch her feel bad and try to comfort her but without results. It's hard for those who stands on the "outside" but want to come "inside" and help..

    If you want to talk about BPD please send me a PM and i'll try to explain :smile:
  4. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    Hearing voices is not a symptom of bpd! :unsure: Anyway, having bpd does not presuppose that she has only a shallow infatuation for you or that she will necessarily forget you easily. It probably meant that she became attached very quickly, but if anything the attachment, for her, is extremely strong and important. She will feel that she needs you desperately. She will be terrified that you will abandon and leave her (hence the behaviours). The problem here is that technically she does not have a mental illness per se, but as the title suggests, a personality disorder. Psychiatric services hate people with personality disorders (they are deeply entrenched behaviours and take a lot of resources and time to treat)... they much prefer things you can just throw a pill at. They hate bpd in particular because they regard the behaviours as attention seeking. However, of course, if you can persuade her to seek help then do... especially if she has many of the destructive self harming behaviours that typify bpd. I'll pm you a link to a bpd site too, as you might get more advice there.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 26, 2007
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