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Bored with sex..

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Shock, Jan 2, 2009.

  1. Shock

    Shock Well-Known Member

    Um...embarrassing talking bout this but um...

    Im beginning to hate sex. Me and my gf have been together only 2 months and already Id rather just go to bed and sleep then do it. Haha, its wierd now Im the one saying 'ive got a headache' and passing it up, lol never thought Id do that! Its annoying cause she gets angry at me for not wanting to do it, or she blames her self, but man it deosnt feel like anything for me
  2. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    People go through highs and low in their libido. And if you're taking medication or are depressed it's not uncommon to lose interest. I lost my strong libido a year and a half ago.


  3. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    nothing to be embarressed about.

    this actually happens alot with me and women, just men think it doesnt as you are portrayed as only wanting sex.

    losing your want for it also goes hand in hand with depression, so dont worry to much about it

    your girlfriend getting mad with you though is unfair. have you tried talking to her about it?
    or perhaps suggest she service herslef for the time being till your libido comes back? :hug: dont worry though, your not wierd
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Perhaps you need to try new things with her. I won't go into detail but I'm sure you know what I mean by that. Perhaps a relationship counselor may help. Are you just bored with sex or with her too? :hug:

  5. Lynn, I think that you are a wonderful person and a good friend to me and many other people, and I realize that it's not just you who've said things like this. Although after reading this, I want to make my opinions very clear. There is no "boredom" with a person. The problem is with the situation. The breakup/divorce rate in this world is very high, and it's a very sad state for it to be this way. It is even worse when we are discussing issues about sex as though they are related to a relationship problem. The issues of sex and love, ought to be kept seperate here. Sex merely is physical excitement, whereas love is an intimate bonding. The issue is of what he feels in terms of love for this woman, not boredom. Again, too many people breakup/divorce, because of the lack of interest in sex with their partner. This is an absolutely pathetic reason to breakup/divorce someone, and is a major reason for the downfall of society. The OP ought to reexamine his love for this woman and his priorities in a relationship.

    I apologize for sounding harsh. However, I think that it is important for people to really, truely think about themselves and their standings in the love aspect of their relationships, before mentioning the sex aspect of it.
  6. DrowningInTears

    DrowningInTears Well-Known Member

    Strange, depression is having the opposite effect on me. Depression making me want intimacy.
  7. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Maybe it's the depression.
    If it bothers you, or is causing problems in your relationships, like sweetheart said there are other things you might try. Or you could always do Viagra or something along those lines.
    If it's not a problem then don't get down on yourself about it :hug:

  8. I really hate all of the sexual dysfunction medication on the market. Seriously, if a person really loves someone, then sex will be fine, because there will be the love intimacy between the partners. If a person can't be excited about someone whom they love, then they need to figure out why they are even in the relationship.

  9. Understandably so. Having love, intimacy, ought to help make you feel connected with a person.

    It's damn annoying when people complain about their sex life with the people they are in love with. Stuff like, "I'm bored with the sex", "I don't know why I can't enjoy sex with my partner", etc. Blah Blah Blah. People in good relationships should stop complaining, unless there is a serious issue, which in that case, the relationship might not be so good. Yet, don't pretend that you are in a good relationship, then complain about the quality of the sex. Learn to love the person you are with, or get the hell out of it!
  10. Eh, my last post was a bit mean. I'm being very strict about this issue, probably because over the past few years, several people have involved me in trying to fix their relationship issues, especially one of late, in which a friend of mine is drinking himself to death and it's hurting my friend who loves him. I've also been in so many relationships that have ended badly. I think that people who are in good relationships, really ought to treasure what they have and to appreciate the love within it.
  11. InnerStrength

    InnerStrength Well-Known Member

    Some people have hormonal imbalances and have a hard time getting excited, and that has nothing to do with love. You need to do some medical research before saying things like that.
  12. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    If you're bored with sex, then maybe just cuddle her and see if that helps?

  13. I'm not talking about the physical aspect of sex. I'm talking about the emotional aspect of sex, and about people who say that sex is boring, simply based from the physical aspect of sex. Sexual (emotional) excitement can come from being with the person you love, knowing that they are there and that they love you.
  14. InnerStrength

    InnerStrength Well-Known Member

    Its hard to get excited without certain hormones in place, they cause the physical as well as the emotional excitement (they help with the latter). There are also things like depression, etc.

    Anyway, people try to make "love" this metaphysical thing, and maybe to an extent it is, but hormones also control a part of that.
  15. Shock

    Shock Well-Known Member

    haha i can see your very strict about the issue. My relationship with my gf is fine, its just this strange desire not to have sex. I still like spending time with her but I am concerned about my lack of libido so decided to post here and other opinions. Its not a relationship issue its probably a physical thing. I get where your comeing from though and thanks for responding and your advice before:biggrin:
  16. alle_vite

    alle_vite Well-Known Member

    Sock dont feel bad alot of people go through this faze, i know i stuck in one atm, the thought of sex just doesnt doe it for me atm. However if you think its something that could be more permanant then try looking up Asexual people it will give you info on it.

    Hope it all works out


  17. I suppose that I can understand that the physical aspect of sex can play a big part in sex too, besides the love aspect of it. Actually, the only sex that I've had, has purely been physical, without love. I greatly desire love, especially if I were to ever have sex again. Although, considering my suicide plans for next month, sex and love for me in this world during the short remainder of time which I will be here from now until then, is doubtful.

    Also, my strictness in regards to this issue, partly has to do with personal bitterness and frustration regarding a specific relationship which I was involved in nearly two years ago. In a few more weeks, it'll be around the time when I met the girl. In no other relationship have I had so many "What Ifs" thoughts in my mind, wondering what could have/would have been, had things been different. As much as I was physically attracted to her, I also was attracted by her beautiful soul and spirit, which, at times, was corrupted by her mental illness. I blame her for letting her mental illness destroy our relationship, and I blame myself for questioning her motives.

    I suppose that my advice is that to not let the physical aspect issues of sex ever get to the point where it could damage your relationship. The pain of such a loss of love, is very intensely bad. Hopefully everything will be well for you, Shock.