Yeah, definitely I am not able to live this life....I’m used to live on my own, and there is no way out of it. Well…I’m not ugly, not evacuated by others, actually girls likes me, people want make friendship with me…but me, I feel like I have to be alone for rest of my life, and something tells me “you don’t need them”, why? why?, it doesn’t make me happy,no,no definitely not. I guess reason for that are years of emptiness behind me, well I never tried to made real friends, never wanted anybody near to me, never want have fun like others…I don’t know why…well I guess part of it takes social anxiety, shyness, low self esteem etc. Now I am 25, I think I have changed, I’m not shy so much as I used to be, I can talk to people, many of them find it interesting, still I have few friends. Well, despite of it I can’t make my life better then he was early. Still I don’t want anybody near to me, don’t want have fun…As I said I have few friends, I don’t seeing them very often...why? because I don’t want it, for example…yesterday they invited me to birthday party…guess what…yeah I refuse to show myself, he-he, smart choice. Why is that? Well what should I doing there, everybody have girlfriends or boyfriends, everybody have colorful story behind…, me? I have just emptiness and sorrow inside of me, well I guess I can say something interesting, make some fake smile etc., but is this real me?...do I belong there…well I decided it is better to stay this way…is it? Yeah…I know if I keep going this way I will never make my life the way I can share some story with others, and there will always be just emptiness…Yeah, that’s just fucking magic circle I can’t escape. It seems the only way is to kill myself. I know this post is useless, I’m expecting 0 replays as usually,… but I guess I feel myself better if I put it out. Anyway, thanks for reading and sorry for my English.