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Born Loser

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by neverdie, Jul 25, 2007.

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  1. neverdie

    neverdie Guest

    Why am I a born looser, starting from the beginning I’ll tell u why.

    I am the middle child. That’s a kiss of death to start off. Every time my siblings did something they weren’t suppose to, I got the shit, because my brother was old enough to know better and my younger sister was to young to know any better, so I got blamed for everything.

    As life went on, I think I was 5 I got the mumps, the bad version, which left me with out enough hormones to make me a complete man. Meaning I can’t grow hair on my face, arms, legs. I have it everywhere else if u were wondering. Everyone says that’s a good thing cause I don’t have to shave, but I guess I’ll never know

    As I grew up, having the lack of hormones gave me the worse case of puberty that anyone could think of. Laced with panic attacks, horrific nightmares, uncontrollable fear and that lasted for about 10years.

    At the age of 15, I grew about a foot tall in 1 year, and my body couldn’t handle the change, so to compromise, my rib cage twisted and I a huge bump formed in the centre of my chest. It didn’t hurt, but it was very noticeable. So my parents decided to get it fixed by corrective surgery. I spent 3 months in the hospital, right through Christmas.

    After I got out, I developed an infection which left an open wound where my mom had to pour pure peroxide into it daily, it was really gross. But it healed over time. Later that year I found that I couldn’t get out of bed because the doctor screwed up and made a real mess, the ribs didn’t heal properly and I had server back pains.

    So 6 months later I had to go back to the hospital and get another surgery done and have 2 rib tips removed. Another month in the hospital. And one more surgery after that again for another mishap, or screw up. Ah well
    He left me the biggest zipper down the middle of my chest, to this day I still won’t take off my shirt in public.
    He thought I would be proud to show it off, but he was wrong, it’s quite discussing.

    After all the pain, disfiguring scars and no longer can I do any heavy lifting, and still have pain when sitting the wrong way, I hear from a different doctor that if my parents would have just not got the surgery done, the body would have corrected itself over time, figures.
  2. neverdie

    neverdie Guest

    Part 2 now I’m 17

    Thank god there are girls out there that don’t care about disfiguring scars, I met someone in high school I fell in love with and I decided to quit school and get a job which to support her and my un born child, but shortly after I quit school and got a job, she disappeared without letting me know where she had gone to. About 8 months later I get a letter in the mail from her lawyer saying I owe monies because she was staying in a place for unwed women. Terrific, not only did she leave me, now I have to pay for her 8 month stay at that home.

    It’s a small price to pay to see my child, I though. So I made arrangements to visit her and by the time everything went through, she without my consent gave up the child for adoption, BITCH!! My life I thought was over, but time heals all wounds…

    Some years later, I meet another wonderful woman and we get married. In hopes some day we will have children and live happily ever after, yeah well, we were both in love with the idea of being married and not with each other, so that marriage only lasted a year and again I’m alone. And again time heals all wounds.

    A few years later I get a call from the my high school sweet heart asking if I want to meet my 21 year old daughter, WHOA!! Right on.!! U bet I want to meet her. We meet, things are great now. I’m finally happy. Now my high school sweet heart is married to another man and she has had 4 kids with him.

    She decided to leave him for me and I gladly accept her into my arms. Now I can be truly happy. I have everything a man could ever want. But as time goes on, things don’t work out well. Her other children don’t accept me as their step father and things start to fall apart.

    Then I find out that my wife is having an affair with a younger man ½ her age, that was it, marriage over. I moved out and again I was alone. SIGH!!! Oh well, I still have my daughter as my best friend..
  3. neverdie

    neverdie Guest

    Part 3 Now I’m 40.

    Things are grand. My daughter has met a man, got married and has had 2 children, a boy and a girl, I’m a grand father yahoo… but her husband is a bad influence on her and they pack up their bags and move away. I haven’t seen or heard from them in 2 years until I get a call from her that my ex wife died of heart attack at the age of 42 and after the funeral l poof off they went and to this day 8 years later I haven’t heard a thing from them.

    So, now I’m all alone, again. There must be something wrong with me, that everyone doesn’t want to be with me. Maybe cause I’m not a real man cause I can’t grow face hair, I dunno….SIGH!!

    Then 6 months ago I meet this very young and very cute girl that wants to hang out with me. I’m thinking, why would she want to hang out with me, I’m just an old fart of no real value. But she has a heart of gold and I thought, well ok, we can be friends. At first that’s all we were, we chatted on msn every day, then as time goes on I found out more and more about her and her bad life

    She would cut her arm and beat herself up, the reasons I won’t tell u, but the more I got her to tell me about her life the more she allowed me into her world, as time wore on I started to have real feeling for her. I knew it wouldn’t ever work cause of the age difference, but it sure feels good to be wanted again.

    However, although we still keep in touch, we don’t chat as much as we used to, she has stopped hurting herself but is now hanging out with people of her own age. I think that’s fantastic, but that leaves me on the shelf, collecting dust until she needs me again. Just a sad old man with no one to love me and no one I can love…

    Oh Well…sigh…
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