born to be alone

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by morning rush, Jun 23, 2011.

  1. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I think I'm not made for love, to have a romantic relationship...I watch others and it seems to come so easy to them, for me it feels like its impossible like I was born to be alone...

    sex doesn't really interest me, don't get me wrong, I do get aroused and dream of love, but to be with someone feels foreign...maybe I'm just guy or girl or whatever seems to attract me...

    am I the only one who feels like that? maybe I'm just crazy or something...
  2. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    I know how you feel. I found that I just can't see myself in a relationship like others. I've tried- both men and women- but really it just doesn't seem like it's meant for me.

    It's gotten me depressed. But right now I'm just at the point of- apparently it's not meant for me. But it's fine. Really I don't care. I mean it still depresses me but I can't change what life is meant for me. If it means being alone forever and only watching others get to experience love then alright...

    I guess...maybe...
  3. daciana

    daciana Well-Known Member

    You are not the only one who feels this way. Like you, i also desire love, but intimacy with another person feels foreign for some reason. For me, it's very hard to connect with others. I don't know, maybe it is true that some of us are born to be alone. Doesn't mean that we are unable to love, but maybe we are not meant to.
  4. HakunaMatata

    HakunaMatata Well-Known Member

    I feel this way, but I feel this way due to being odd. I think that’s fair to say.

    As for me being attracted to someone, I barely see it unless I know them, and then when I do know them I’m still not feeling as if they’re “the one”. - I’m not even sure how well I’m getting my story across. Just know it’s not so simple for me, yet I’m pretty sad as I’m constantly socializing with people online, and always thinking I can find someone.
  5. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    I feel the same way. I look around and see all these people with "partners"(or whatever). I'm left wondering how the fuck they do it all. I don't know how to get close to someone. How do you? What's the difference between a friendship and a relationship?

    When I meet someone in person, I can sometimes start to like them(at the moment I'm kinda likeing my brothers friend LOL). But unfortunately when I like someone they don't like me(story of my fuckin life). So it's not like I actually do anything about it.

    Plus I have trust issues. And I constantly worry about them doing something to me that would hurt me(emotionally). Then you have all my other problems.
  6. Growing Pains

    Growing Pains Well-Known Member

    You're not alone. I feel that way more often than not. I have had relationships but more often than not, I just feel like I'm doing it because I feel obligated to. If that makes any sense at all? I can think of one person that I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with... but that's more because she's a best friend than actually loving her romantically. With me, I don't fall in love in the romantic sense, I guess. I grow to care about my partners, but the idea of love and intimacy seems impossible at times.

    And don't even get me started on sex. I have a very low sex drive more often than not. Granted, sometimes... it can be... pretty high. But eh, I just don't think about it at all most of the time.
  7. gakky1

    gakky1 Well-Known Member

    Appears as though you're not alone, know exactly where you're coming from. To be honest have always felt that I'm the only person in the world who can't get into a relationship, know others say that but it feels that way. No, you're not crazy, like you mentioned about how easy it is for others, but to me it's the most unnatural thing in the world, even in my wildest fantasy can never picture myself being in one.:mhmm:

    PS- Always liked your avatar, which is?:sheep2:
  8. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    its the main character of Elfen lied

    I kind of feel better that I'm not the only one...

    longroad95 I guess a relationship is one step further of friendship, you get intimate with them as you wouldn't with your friends...

    you know everyone around me thinks I'm abnormal for not being in a family and some of my friends...and it used to bother me and so I got my virginity popped by the first guy that wanted to date me...but it didn't feel normal to I didn't date the guy or anyone...

    people are so family oriented, grow up, get a partner, marry, have children etc...and if you don't do that you're the odd least that's what the people around me have treated me like...
  9. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    My family is the same way. "Why aren't you dating? I want grandkids? Let me set you up?" And when I try to say no I really don't wanna or whatever they just keep going over and over.
  10. gakky1

    gakky1 Well-Known Member

    ^^ Thanks, been wanting to watch Elfin Lied for so, so long but kept putting it off where I had forgotten about it,:sad: gonna go hunt it down.
    Glad to see that you know you're not alone, least here, know it doesn't solve the situation because I'm there too and it still grates my too much, keep up the posting, hopefully it'll help.:Jehuty:
  11. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    hi. not alone. me too. As for crazy- that's a good question. Certainly no one has ever accused me of being sane, with my flinching when people touch me, panicking when they're too close, outright refusing offers of sex because I just can't, intimacy terrifies me. Normal is being comfortable with other people? Isn't it? Normal isn't lying to your family in order to make them think you're normal to avoid their probing questions and hurt looks?

    sorry. no intention to derail thread. just wanted to say I can relate.
  12. poisonedresistance

    poisonedresistance Well-Known Member

    Maybe this seems cruel but i see your post and I envy you so much.
    When I love someone, i do it completely, with all that I am.
    All it has ever bought me is misery, destruction and all the abominable sides of life you can possibly imagine.
    the first time I lost absolutely everything and spent a year in prison.
    the second time ive hung on that desperately that he has squashed my very soul.
    bricked it up in a way I dont think I could ever possibly break it free.
    For me the joy of being unable to feel love would be the joy of having happiness in everything else in life.
    As it is I wish I could suffocate in this putrid, rotting, desiccating thing you seem to long for.
    Love is only there when the other person is happy, when it is no longer enough your just a stepping stone to their next phase and the last step they take will always push you beneath the surface.
    I envy you and I wish to never find Love or have it find me again.
  13. bunny10

    bunny10 New Member

    I dont get sexual attraction either or like sex. You may be asexual. Have you looked into that? Theres tons of people who are like that.
  14. oxygenidia

    oxygenidia Well-Known Member

    I feel like I'm meant to be alone. But it's not because I'm asexual or don't get feelings of attraction. I just get them extremely rarely. I find it very difficult to feel a connection with another human being. I have only felt that type of connction once, with one guy, and he was nuts.
    I don't think I can handle being in a relationship either. I find it so hard to spend a lot of time with someone and open up. I guess I was born a loner.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 28, 2011
  15. Kassy

    Kassy Well-Known Member

    For the last 14 years, I felt like maybe, I was not borned to be alone.
    But since I started my therapy, I see things that I did not see before.

    Then, I realized that I may not be borned to be alone, but I wish I could end up my marriage and actually be alone.

    My therapist told me to give it another year and see.

    I'll wait and see.
  16. dying_inside

    dying_inside Well-Known Member

    i must be born to be alone too.

    but sometimes it hurts.