Born with disability and suicidal thoughts

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by livish9, Jul 4, 2012.

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  1. livish9

    livish9 New Member

    On the outside I look like a happy person. But I'm not. I was born with a muscle disease called Congenital Myopathy. Because of this i have to use a wheelchair, my arms and legs don't stretch out all the way, my neck has contractures to where its almost all the way back, and my back is curved to where I have to lean forward to sit comfortably. I don't think I've had a day where I asked why it was me that it happened to. A lot of people who see me see that I am a positive person who is grateful for what mobility she has. I want out. I'm tired of my limited mobility, I'm tired of depending on people, but most of all I'm tired of being helpless. With my disability comes a lot of pain both physically and mentally. I have to stretch as much as I can so my muscles don't atrophy. It hurts so much to look in the mirror each day and see my body change and have to accept the fact that I will never be able to move as much as I could due to my muscles atrophying. So many times I have thought about ending my life, including tonight. I know there are people out there that love me but I am selfish in this case. I want to be able to run beside my friends, walk down the aisle, and jump on the bed. But this is my life. And right now I am not happy with it.*
  2. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    I just wanted to say welcome, and to let you know that it's okay to be selfish sometimes. I am sorry for your pain... nobody has the right to judge you or tell you how to feel, it's your life and you're entitled to your emotions. No one could blame you for wanting to be able to do those things.


    I hope you are able to find strength and happiness in life in spite of your situation, because you deserve to be happy after everything you've been through.
  3. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    You certainly have a right to feel that way. Nobody deserves to go through that shit.
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