Hi: I'm bottleneck - because it feels like everything is kind stuck... if that makes any sense. I have a hard time picking names for these things. Anywa, I'm 38. I've been suicidal my whole life. At least, I have really felt like I'd like to stop living my whole life. A fear of going to hell kept me from doing it when I was really young. I joined this because I'm tired of wanting to kill myself. I just either want to get it done, or learn how to not want to do it. Does that make sense?