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Ideas & Opinions Boy crazy

Accio

Well-Known Member
#1
When I were 13/14 one of my best friends called me "boy crazy"
I defended myself. I thought she was wrong.

Looking back, I W A S and still am 'boy crazy'

I always had to be crushing on someone. I always have to be currently crushing on someone to be happy.
Every time a new boy group came out, I had to fancy one of the members.
Every season of X Factor(or similar shows) I had to find someone to crush on.
Every class I was in, I had to find someone to crush on, otherwise it would be boring.
I hated school holidays and weekends because I wouldn't see my crush.

Every relationship I've been in, I've crushed on and spoke about other boys to my boyfriend.
My boyfriend when I was 15 dumped me because I kept talking about another boy.

I snagged the boy I had a crush on when I was 16. Went to bed, went to school, came home and asked another boy out instead.
Then realised I liked the first boy more and spent the next 2 years trying to get back with him even though he was mean.

I won't date someone until I've crushed on them for months and caught feelings, which usually results in "heartbreak" when they don't like me back.

I went on a date 8 years ago with someone I really liked. He liked me too. There was never a second date however.
The year after, I had a crush on a member of staff at the college I attended.

It's been 7/8 years since then and now I compare everybody to the person I went on a date with and the member of staff.
If you're not them, I won't date you.
Which is obviously making it hard to date.
 

Walker

Admin
SF Social Media
SF Author
SF Supporter
#2
Sounds like that's making romantic relationships quite difficult. Any ideas what's going on here?
 

cots

Well-Known Member
#3
Is this like a grass is greener on the other side thing? If it's ruining your relationships you might want to speak to a counsellor. They can give insight on why we behave in certain ways and how we can deal with it.
 

Accio

Well-Known Member
#4
The only thing I'm sure of is that I like the thrill of the chase.
I will soon be in my 30's and wish to be married one day but it just doesn't seem possible.
I've had 0 luck with mental health professionals. I've tried so many over the past 14 years and either they're not helpful or I feel worse for seeing them.
hence why I'm posting here and hoping to hear others opinions and or experiences that may help
 

C4RL4

Well-Known Member
#6
You made me remember myself a bit, but my problem is that I get too attached to people (and partners) because of the lack of social stimuli.
I had to learn the hard way to hold back with the "crush" thingy or the only thing crushed will be my feelings.
Well that's me, and the only way I ever had to learn not to do things is by failing.
Things I learned are to know very well someone for sometime before even considere dating, to have at least the slightest idea of what you are looking for in a actual partner, and the hardest to swallow pill (for me), to let go and get over it when things don't go your way.
Wish ya the best o' luck.
 

extraterrestrialone

untwisting the pretzel
SF Supporter
#7
The only thing I'm sure of is that I like the thrill of the chase.
I will soon be in my 30's and wish to be married one day but it just doesn't seem possible.
I've had 0 luck with mental health professionals. I've tried so many over the past 14 years and either they're not helpful or I feel worse for seeing them.
hence why I'm posting here and hoping to hear others opinions and or experiences that may help
i am wondering, it seems like you do want to change. it is possible that that is coming. i believe that talking about things going on in the mind can be very helpful and that is why therapy could be good. it is great that you are here because there are so many helpful people here. i think you will be getting some good advice.

as i see it, it could be that you behave the way you do because of something that might be hurting or troubling you that you are not completely in touch with. it could be that you felt uncomfortable with therapy because you were getting close to that discomfort.

i do agree with you that some mental health professionals are not helpful but i also believe some are. could you try to get back with one who seemed to be more of the helpful type?

right now i am thinking about how i keep kind of pressuring my therapist on issues that seem important to me. i think that there are ways that a patient can guide the therapist into being more responsive.

right now, with my therapist i feel kind of detached from my feelings. i am actually hoping that i somehow can feel the pain and find out more of what i need to work on. pain does hurt but it can lead to solving a problem and relief from the pain.

I hope these ideas can somehow be helpful for you. oh yes, as for thinking being married is impossible, i think that many people see it that way but then it does happen. for nonsocial me, i got married at 37 when i was certain i never would. i could not see how with me being me anyone could be interested enough to be willing to marry me. surprising things do happen!
 

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