Boyfriend has fallen out of love with me

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Char_ash, Dec 28, 2013.

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  1. Char_ash

    Char_ash New Member

    My boyfriend of 5 years just told me he's fallen out of love with me. I don't know what to do. We are renting together while our house is being built. I have a cat and rabbit and my family are moving to the uk so I'll have no one. I have little friends none that I feel I can talk to. My boyfriend is my best friend and now I am broken. I'm currently seeing a psychologist also for anxiety. I've only recently come off meds. I am freaking out as I don't know what to do with everything like living arrangements the house money etc I still love him so I am a mess. He wants us to talk about it and me think about it for the next few days. I can't think about it as I get more depressed I just can't believe this is happening right now :'(
     
  2. SplinterStar

    SplinterStar Active Member

    well I'm not the best role model for romance, but relationships require work. talk to him about it, try and remember why you fell in love and try to re-associate those good things with each other. love is ironically like building a house, you have to maintain it, it doesn't just stay pristine forever. but positive communication is key, don't alienate him by shutting him out.

    I've been with someone for three years, and i try to keep them happy as much as possible. its possible to over do it, and make "I love you an empty" phrase. but little things like making breakfast for them on there day off or just showing up with a movie during a rainy evening or something, these little things make an impact.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 28, 2013
  3. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    this may sound overly simplistic.. but, sometimes with long term relationships... we forget to do things to keep them feeling new and therefore adding a bit of thrill to our lives and our relationship...

    is it possible that he is just feeling a bit "over looked" or "taken for granted" or that maybe both of you are taking the relationship itself for granted so that neither of you really feel special to each other anymore, but more just like ... you are just "there" ? may not be that the love has died, may just have gotten misplaced, so to speak
     
  4. cots

    cots Well-Known Member

    I came out of a relationship that meant alot to me about a year back. My ex boyfriend told me something similar, his feelings changed. I never got a proper closure, no reason was presented to me at all. I can only guess that it was because I started becoming clingy and dependant on him to make me happy.

    I wanted to give back his things, but he never wanted to see me or hear from me again. Cut me off entirely. Last time we spoke he said he's seeing someone new who is 10x prettier and smarter than me and wants to have absolutely nothing to do with me anymore.

    In any case, let yourself heal. I never believed when people said things would improve, but it did. It still stings of course to think that I have been replaced, but all I can do right now is to shift the focus back on myself. Remember, you are your priority now, he's thrown that privilege away. Stay strong.
     
  5. George Bailey

    George Bailey Active Member

    heard that just recently after 10 years. she was my soulmate. we were refurbishing a big victorian property, which turned into an old money pit which put a strain on our relationship. we lost the habit of communication and just avoided the problem. we forgot why we loved each other and to have fun together, like snuggling up together watching an old movie enjoying each others company, rather than continuously worring about the bloody house. It also didnt help that six months prior to our break-up my mum dropped dead in front of me unexpectantly, my last family member, and i became this limpet of a boyfriend who hated her leaving my side and i just suffocated her. Hold fast, talk to your boyfriend ask him why he says he has fallen out of love with you, perhaps hes anxious about something. talk it through with your family, they might be moving but with modern technology nobody is that far away. now is the time to get in contact with your friends and spend some time away from the current situation just to take your mind off it even for a nano-second and, by stepping away from this situation it might help you to re-focus. none of this is easy but you have friends here that can help and support you. even though you cant see it at the moment, you will be ok.
     
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