Boyfriend is in Prison.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Noir, Feb 22, 2015.

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  1. Noir

    Noir Active Member

    Hi. So recently, my Boyfriend had been arrested and is now remanded in custody until the 26th this month where his hearing will take place. I have been so depressed since then (I have actually been suffering from depression for a very long time now but the current situation turned my whole world upside down), I've gone to see a Doctor who has referred me to Counselling and prescribed me with sleeping pills because I keep waking up at around 3am despite how early or late I go to bed at night.. I feel so lost, what do I do? I feel so much guilt over what happened, and believe that if I were a much better girlfriend, my man wouldn't be in this situation, he would have been a lot happier and I could have protected him from whatever led him to be in this position.I am trying to cope alone, but I can't handle all the triggers around me, like when I go out, all these places I go to hold such happy memories of me and my man going to these places together, holding hands, kissing, and I break down and cry (even in public) because I just can't help it. I wish I could avoid going to these places but to be honest, I can't, because the University I go to is within those areas. I miss my man so much, before he was arrested, we were talking about a future together, we were really serious about moving in together, getting married etc. but all that has been put on hold and I'm left trying to pick up the pieces.I just can't stop crying and feel like I can't do anything in my life because he's not here at home with me. He was a reason why I even got this far with my depression in the first place because only he understood me. I don't know what to do.
    Has anyone here experienced their loved one getting arrested and getting locked up in prison for a long time? If so, how do you cope? This is the first time something like this has ever happened to me and it HURTS LIKE HELL!
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Noir, I personally don't have any experience with people close to me being in prison but I really feel for you and know how the loneliness can affect you. How long has he been in prison? Just 4 more days to pass and we will be here for you until he gets out and beyond. Keep talking to us here, I can see the sadness in you post, big hugs :hug:
     
  3. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    how long is he looking to do in prison?
    you gone/been allowed to see or spoken to him?
     
  4. Noir

    Noir Active Member

    Thank you guys for the replies. It really is comforting to know that there are people on here that can somehow understand me, no matter the situation, we all know what depression feels like at the end of the day. I don't even know how long he is going to be in prison for.He has been charged with GBH and this is the first ever time he has been in trouble with the law. I have only seen him once since he was remanded, and I have not even spoken to him much on the phone either. I have no clue of what's going on, Solicitors, Police Officers and everyone have all been telling him not to say anything about the case so he couldn't even tell me what's going on which doesn't help me at all! I'm only worrying every single day and I feel so helpless because I don't even know what I can do.
     
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    That is a sticky situation to be in. I do hope he gets out soon and your inside torment is lessened. You don't deserve to feel the way you do. Depression is like a dark cloud stuck over our head and very slowly gets lighter and lighter. Do you have friends and family for comfort?
     
  6. Noir

    Noir Active Member

    Well, I do have family supporting me as well as him (who are also seeing him through this stressful and difficult time). I somehow believe he will be imprisoned for this, I just don't know for how long, so I'm trying to prepare for the worst like thinking of ways I can communicate with him if he were in prison, like writing him letters, talking on the phone, visits etc. but then I don't know what to do for myself. I honestly feel that I will be doing time with him because I don't intend to break up with him because of this. I choose to hang onto him because despite whatever he did, I know he is such a wonderful person and this was just a big mistake he happened to make. I mean, despite knowing of me suffering from depression, he still chose to be with me because he cares right? So I guess it's my turn to be by his side no matter what happens to him. I just honestly feel like I'm in limbo right now, I don't intend to kill myself because of what's going on, but then surviving alone without him is so hard for me right now that I can't even describe how I'm feeling. All I know is that I feel so helpless. I'm trying to stay calm and think positively for once, but not knowing what's happened or what the outcome of this will be makes me feel so much anxiety.
     
  7. Noir

    Noir Active Member

    Apologies in advance if I'm not making any sense when I'm typing. I'm actually breaking down whilst I'm typing so yeah..
     
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Good people can get caught up in such trying situations. Even then, people deserve a second chance, so I am glad you chose to stick by him and help him :) Preparing for the worst is not such a bad idea if it makes you feel a bit better. I bet it is the not knowing in this case that is scaring you. I am glad you have family around you supporting you, that must be a great help. I wish you all the best :hug:
     
  9. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    maybe he ll get off with a hefty fine and lessened time or community service instead of lengthy prison stay
     
  10. Noir

    Noir Active Member

    I really do hope so..
     
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I hope it works out for you :hug:
     
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