Hi. My first time on here although not the first time I've had suicidal thoughts or attempts.
My second botched attempt was Saturday just gone after another row with my boyfriend. I was too drunk to really process what I was doing, and because of how much I drank I threw up the <mod edit - methods>
I somehow managed to message a friend asking them to pass on messages to my family. Said friend called the police. They came and took me away as they were concerned for my safety due to the argument. Since then I've been staying with my parents. my boyfriend has been telling me stop being a victim. To give him a reason why he should forgive me (I have to point out we had a scuffle and I ended up hitting him. Let's just say it's funny how I'm the one with the bruises). So, I can't help but feel like he does t give a rats bottom about what happened Saturday. He just thinks I should shrug it off and move on. I've tried to explain to him it's not that easy. I feel quite broken, empty and quite frankly the more he says this stuff the more I think I should just get it out of the way.
I don't know if I'm going mad, or if I indeed should apologise to him? I'm not sure what to do or where to turn as he doesnt like me talking about our arguments with anyone. I've even told him I'm on suicide watch, which feels embarrassing, humiliating and devestating all at the same time. And his reply was 'stop being the victim'
What do you guys think? Am I going crazy or should I actually apologise? Am I in the wrong here?
Feeling delicate and fragile xx
My second botched attempt was Saturday just gone after another row with my boyfriend. I was too drunk to really process what I was doing, and because of how much I drank I threw up the <mod edit - methods>
I somehow managed to message a friend asking them to pass on messages to my family. Said friend called the police. They came and took me away as they were concerned for my safety due to the argument. Since then I've been staying with my parents. my boyfriend has been telling me stop being a victim. To give him a reason why he should forgive me (I have to point out we had a scuffle and I ended up hitting him. Let's just say it's funny how I'm the one with the bruises). So, I can't help but feel like he does t give a rats bottom about what happened Saturday. He just thinks I should shrug it off and move on. I've tried to explain to him it's not that easy. I feel quite broken, empty and quite frankly the more he says this stuff the more I think I should just get it out of the way.
I don't know if I'm going mad, or if I indeed should apologise to him? I'm not sure what to do or where to turn as he doesnt like me talking about our arguments with anyone. I've even told him I'm on suicide watch, which feels embarrassing, humiliating and devestating all at the same time. And his reply was 'stop being the victim'
What do you guys think? Am I going crazy or should I actually apologise? Am I in the wrong here?
Feeling delicate and fragile xx
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