Boyfriend very suicidal - not coping

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by greenpixies, Jul 6, 2014.

  1. greenpixies

    greenpixies New Member


    I have seen that there are similar posts on here, to do with a partner who is heavily depressed, but as every situation is unique I felt like I should start a new thread. This is my first time on a site like this, but I just don't know where else to turn.

    My boyfriend of 5 years has had a life of hard events, and has always suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts. When he was growing up, he watched (and stopped) his mum try to take her own life several times. Now she is living on the other side of the world with a serious heart condition and has cut him from her life (I won't go into details here, but this has been a devastating blow to him). I am extremely concerned about him, I do suffer from depression too - but I have been very fortunate in the fact I have never been witness to someone so close to suicide before. I feel completely out of my depth, and I don't know how I can help him. He tells me that I am the only person that keeps him alive, but this adds a scary pressure to the relationship.

    He broke down recently, and was brandishing a knife, telling me to get out the house so he could die in peace. My reaction is currently purely emotional, I am in panic mode and I don't know what to do. He refuses to seek help as he did when he was younger and it was unsuccessful - and he is adamant that no one can do anything for him so there is no point trying to talk to someone else. This is the third time it has happened to this scale, and each time seems to get worse, and I'm scared that next time he will actually do it. Even though I have felt like I don't want to live anymore myself, his takes a very different form and he gets extremely aggressive - something I have never been very good at dealing with. Being the type of person I am, I fear that my inability to help him is not only not helping, but making matters worse.

    I feel selfish for making it about me at all - I know he is the one that is suffering, but I just can't cope with it. I am so scared, and if I am the only person that he leans on and I'm not strong enough, then what is going to happen?

    How can I get him to find help? Is seeking help from professionals a waste of time like he truly believes it is? How can I be strong enough to help him? I feel like I need some space so I can fix myself first, but I just cannot leave him. At a bit of a loss, and could really do with any advice, or just someone to talk to.

    Thanks in advance,