boys, cant live with them, cant live without them

[slim_to_none]

hmm. dont know if this is where this belongs. i dont know what to do about this boy.....
we met. got friendly. became quite good friends.
and then started sleeping together.
but DIDNT want any sort of attachment / relationship.

now. im in hospital......

firstly. he was supportive. "ill be in as soon as i can" .....
then it was "i'll come in later in the week with X (another friend of mine)"
and then.... "you're a whore, c**t, b**ch, etc"
and after that "i really hope you get out soon, missing you"

what do i make of all of that.... ive been here over three weeks now.
he hasnt come in.
do i let him know im angry.
do i let him know how much his comments (the third ones) hurt me?
or do i just let it go......

i really like this guy. even just as a friend.
but he is obsessed with himself (he looks like a male model to put it nicely).
im not sure what i should do with this......

anyone got any thoughts.... im scared to contact him....
thanks.

 

[Bette]

Hey Slim,

O.K. let's get this straight. You're hospitalized, and the dude comes to visit. The his visits get less frequent. THEN he calls you a whore *u*t?

Hospital or not. If someone calls you something derogatory like that you absolutely want to get away from him. That's verbal abuse. To the curb with him even if you do like him.

The reasons can be many. I would try to not dwell on it. Something went wrong in those three weeks. Maybe he thinks you cheated on him. Maybe someone told him a falsehood about you. Maybe even it's that he don't like visiting a hospital. So, here he goes no matter what the reson belittleing you.

I would definately not contact him. No way. Easier said than done, but it CAN be done. I would not tell him that any of those comments hurt, offended and made you sick to your stomach, In a way he did you afavor. What if you married that guy? You found out early on he cares about him first,

My gut tells me he don't feel like visiting in a hospital. No matter who the patient is. He'd probably do the same to his own mother. LUS if you ask why he said that you won't get any answer.

Feel better,honey. Hope you're not in too much pain physically or mentally.
Nah, that guy isn't someone you want around forever. I wish I knew him so I could cold cock him. That was awful.

 

[slim_to_none]

thanks for the reply. yeah, im hospitalised (private psych facility), but he hasnt come in at all. the conversations have either been phone, text message or msn conversations.
its just that...... i feel like i deserve to be treated badly. (i dont have a high opinion of myself at all....)
and i was going to ring him and blast him when this happened and i talked to a nurse.... she told me to tell him to f**k off out of my life (literally, nurses words, not mine). and i couldnt do it.

i think my issue is that i feel like i deserve to be treated like this....
which isnt normal.....

thanks for the reply. :heart:

 

[TLA]

IMO his communications have dropped off into crude offerings, because he is scared of the situation. Scared of not being able to be a support pal and true shoulder for you. Scared of leading you to this point. Scared that he, as a guy, can't make you better. Scared like "oh shit--what do I do now".

True, he may hate hospitals. BUT, that does not give him a right to talk to you badly and call you names.
I would try to avoid calling him and ring a real friend instead!!

Anyhow, You don't need to worry about a germ like that. You HAVE TO FOCUS on yourself NOW. I know it is painful, but do it. When you see him in the future, you will be better equiped to deal with his stuff after you get out. Look into your brain now, and understand what you think of yourself by being with him.
You DO NOT DESERVE to be treated poorly. No one does. I know how that feels.
I am sorry you feel so low, like you deserve it. You do know that having low self esteem is a hard mountain to overcome.

Post here and don't call him till he shows that he cares. If he can't do that, he may not ever be there for you.
Take good care!