Sometimes I want to be swallowed whole To become Just another part of someone else Subjugate my personality to theirs. I guess it’s just one more form of suicide To add to the list. One more way to cease to feel what I feel As myself This raw and lonely being. Add it to the laundry list Of Exacto knives TM Cigarettes Clove flavored cancer candy Booze and gateway drugs My steadily climbing list Of things I’ve tried but said I’d never touch. I can tie an awesome hangman’s noose Better than I can a tie. I want to do it. Wholesale destruction Of this fragile being who just won’t stop Can’t stop Thinking, thinking, worrying, losing Falling apart and standing back up. One of those clown faced Air-filled Punching balloons. I had one as a child. You smack them across the face Tap them lightly on the bright red nose And they fling themselves to the ground And spring back up Ready for more. When it seems like all your decisions Have gone missing Or no longer belong To anyone you know, What’s the difference? I want someone to make all my decisions for me I cannot think So I will never have to think again.