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BPD abandonment?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by feathers, Nov 13, 2010.

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  1. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    Abandonment is not one of the main traits for me, but there is one issue which is persistent for me. I am not sure if it is a normal way to feel or whether it is due to borderline traits.

    I get really attached to boyfriends and I like having my boyfriend around me or at least talking to me/texting me constantly. He does this most of the time, but if he can't text me when he is working, or if he goes out during the day with his friends and doesn't text me much, I just feel, for lack of a better term, abandoned. I feel shitty pretty much the whole time he is out and then I'm in a bad mood with him when he comes back.

    I know this is not normal but as usual with BPDs emotion overrules logic. Just wondering if any non-BPDs feel the same? Basically, is this normal or is it a BPD trait?

    K x
  2. FBD

    FBD Well-Known Member

    im the same way, i havent been diagnosed with BPD thou, but yeah the whole wanting to talk to someone constantly thing i get it.

    for me its liek if i dont get talked to, its like theres gotta be another reason besides the obvious. either im a burden or they dont want me aorund or something.
  3. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    Do you think you could be borderline or are you just replying as a non-BPD who experiences the same feelings?
  4. FBD

    FBD Well-Known Member

    i honestly dont know...sorry for not being able to clarify that...ive been diagnosed with depression but nothing else has ever been brought up, so im probably not BPD?
  5. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    Alright thanks for your replies, I'm just wondering if it's typical of normal people or if only other people with borderline traits experience feelings like this.
  6. down-and-maybeout

    down-and-maybeout Well-Known Member

    I don't think this will be altogether helpful as I believe I am a BPD sufferer also, but yes I have this symptom. Even though I know afterwards that I was an idiot, at the time if a significant other goes quiet, stops texting or whatever, at the time my mind is telling me things like 'She's found someone better', or 'She doesn't like you anymore', or even 'She's had an accident or something bad has happened'. I panic. I send lots of texts. I lose the aforementioned girlfriend :-(

    Although I have to say, in most cases when this happens, generally I later find out that it's because she actually has found someone better - so, although paranoid, I'm usually correct!
  7. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    Don't you hate it when you go crazy paranoid and then turn out to be completely right. I'm all too familiar with that -.-.
  8. Scully

    Scully Well-Known Member

    Me too unfortunately.
  9. ali-wali

    ali-wali Well-Known Member

    I am the same with been probli abit too clingy for the good of the relationship. I am 18 and my boyfriend stays everynight because I can't stand to not be with him. I hate it when he's at work. I recently found out he may be gay, and got sucked off by a tranny (before I met him) and yet I can't stand to not be with him. I hate it, I feel so unworthy for been such a pushover, but I really cannot help but feel needy towards him.
  10. muv_ur_dolly

    muv_ur_dolly Member

    I've been diagnosed with BPD and what you described is exactly what happens to me. I get a lot of anxiety when he leaves, I fear it but I don't know why...
  11. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the replies. Sucks that you all go through this too :(
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