• Apologies for the issue with a bizarre redirect on the site earlier today. There was a large server update and an error in an IP address had the traffic routing wrongly. No hacking or anything nefarious and nothing to worry about. Sorry for any stress/anxiety caused. Very best wishes - SF Admin

BPD and romantic relationships

Beka

Well-Known Member
#1
Okay so I've come a long way in my recovery of BPD and I'm always having these little 'epiphanies' about my behaviors.
I've just had another one but I wanted to know if anyone else has had the same issue or has any advice on how to combat it.
So I've come to the realization that I've only ever dated people I do not know beforehand. So what I mean by that is I don't really get to know someone before dating them, I get to know them when I'm dating them. I realize also that with mental illness sometimes it can be beneficial to date someone who knows you somewhat beforehand, making behaviors far easier to explain.
I'm in a situation where someone I consider a friend is flirting and he has been doing so for a while now, he's very attractive and we do get along really well but my BPD is making it hard for me. I don't know how to get around this emotional barrier I've created with dating. I'm unsure whether it has anything to do with me not wanting people to know about my BPD I just don't know.
Anyone been in a similar situation??
 

Aurelia

🔶🔸✴ 👑 ✴🔸🔶
#2
I get what you mean when you say you've only been with people you didn't know much about. Borderlines fall in love quickly and with long-term friends, chances are, they have already decided that friend is going to stay a friend. Otherwise, they would have already made a move. So I understand why it's weird for you to have someone you have already deemed to be just a friend to be flirting. Do you think you could ever be attracted to this person emotionally? Like, make an intimate emotional connection?
 

Beka

Well-Known Member
#3
I get what you mean when you say you've only been with people you didn't know much about. Borderlines fall in love quickly and with long-term friends, chances are, they have already decided that friend is going to stay a friend. Otherwise, they would have already made a move. So I understand why it's weird for you to have someone you have already deemed to be just a friend to be flirting. Do you think you could ever be attracted to this person emotionally? Like, make an intimate emotional connection?
I definitely see potential there, it would take a lot and I do see the bonus of having someone know me a bit more then finding out about the BPD side they wouldn't necessarily try to ignore it like my ex did. I just know something like that would take a lot of work (not that it doesn't anyway). I guess communication is key right?
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$260.00
Goal
$255.00
Top