Break-up advices?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by candiz, Sep 4, 2009.

  1. candiz

    candiz Active Member

    Which is worst?
    Emotional or physical abuse?
    Ive gone trough both and I must say I suffer more from the emotional. I love this forum. The fact, that at least one person is reading my problems is a start of a healing process. Don't you think? How many of us build a wall around in real life? Feeling lonely, because we don't trust anyone or have anybody that takes the effort to understand us... Well, to my story, boyfriend loves me... but I can't take his crap anymore.. He is unreliable, lies constantly, and makes up excuses for everything. That should familiar to most of you guys.. the answer is probably simple. Just break up with him! I have... many times.. but he wouldnt stop calling texting or sending people to me to talk to me. Today he came over to my house just to say hes sorry for everything and it looked like he was crying but I dont believe one word that is coming out of his mouth. Now breaking up is easy, but what about the post-breakup? I looked up some tips online on how to deal with breakups. Basically just loving yourself again, start new hobbies or pick up new ones, go out with friends, socialize, join the gym etc. This sounds like fun and exciting but for me, I find it hard to initiate conversations with people sometimes even with friends. Anyway .... tomorrow is my birthday and I feel like spending it by myself. Thank you for reading this post. Whoever you are, I will never forget the people who give me courage that they're other out there that Really care. God bless.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Yeh breakup are hard but if you are not into the relationship for obvious reasons then he will just have to deal with it. Next time don't answer emails phone calls or talk to his friends that come over. Let it be over no connections what so ever he will eventually get it. The less contact the more he understands you will not be dragged back into the relationship. Happy Birthday and if i were you i would go out and buy myself something special Have a day to yourself of relaxation and pampering. You will feel great go to a spa massage just you time. Meeting people can be hard but do things that interest you even take a course at college meet new people that way with the sameinterest. even just one subject art music woodworking etc Take care and i do hope you Birthday is a great one
  3. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    Both forms of abuse are horrible - the physical is easier to prove for obvious reasons...The emotional is enough for anyone to begin to question their own sanity...Both are a voilation of the intimate relaitionship and should be avoided...

    Get out and ignore him and his know he is manipulative...the relief from the pain can make you believe he is getting better only to find out otherwise the minute you take him back.

    Your strength in realizing it is great!! The question is - Why would you be willing to put up with it in the first place? Might be an interesting question to address with a therapist.

    Take care of yourself! :hug:
  4. candiz

    candiz Active Member

    Violet, thank you for you advice, I end up spending my birthday by myself. I was crying when I woke up and feel asleep crying again, yesterday. I was too paranoid to go outside, because my ex-bestfriend (girl) has threatened me with the police. (I did something bad) if I ever hurt HIM again. He manipulates our friends. He makes it seem like I am the bad person, and that he is too good for me. It sucked to spend my 20th birthday by myself.
  5. candiz

    candiz Active Member

    Hi TBear,
    He is very manipulative, even to my family. You're right. I think, the reason why I'm putting up with this is because I have a low self-esteem. He makes me feel like I don't deserve anybody and the only person that will only ever love me is him. Right now, he is winning. Hands down, my eyes are hurting from crying so much, my nose is hurting from blowing my nose so often, and my frown has a hard time becoming a smile again. I've done a good job, by not calling, emailing, or texting him. Any other tips on how to staying positve?
    Ive been going to the gym, eating healthy, and spending more time with my family. I have also been trying to avoid people that might know him. Its hard because I feel like a loser.