My partner and I broke up on the weekend. It's pretty painful... I still love him, and I think he feels the same, emotionally, he just can't handle a relationship at the moment. (Well, this is what I gather from what he is telling me any way). After we broke up, his family found out he was suicidal. (I rang them, bawling, saying I was worried about him). The trouble now is, that to his family, I am like, some evil bitch from hell. According to one of my friends, she was told that i 'was physically and mentally abusive' to my ex. The part where they call me mentally abusive really hurts. Literally, I gave everything I had to give, trying to make sure my ex was ok. I couldn't talk to anyone about how stressed him being suicidal had made me, because if I did, it would have gotten back to his family, and he DID NOT want that. Emotionally, it has taken a huge toll on me... I've had to put myself on a drinking ban, because after all this, I'm scared I'm becoming an alcoholic. Basically, they don't even see, or consider the absolute shit I put myself through. And what's more, they shoot off their mouths about what they don't know. Wanna know the best bit? I can't even defend myself to them! Because, if I do, I would have to tell them things my ex would NOT want them to know. The part about me being physically abusive.... I slapped him in an argument. He was telling me he wanted to end it, (and some other harsh stuff I won't go in to) and I was drunk (ironically, had gotten drunk because i was so upset about everything). Not much of an excuse... But anyone who knows me knows it takes A LOT to make me hit someone. Sigh. I also kind of wanted him to hit back... To absolutely beat the hell out of me. Cos then I could hate him... Fucked up, hey? My ex and I get along really well. maybe one day we could get together again. Who knows. If we do, it would be fun to count how long it took his family to break us up I suppose.... It just really hurts you know.... when you've done the BEST you can, to get told it's no where near good enough.