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Break up hate

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by nightangel, Feb 12, 2008.

  1. nightangel

    nightangel Member

    My partner and I broke up on the weekend. It's pretty painful... I still love him, and I think he feels the same, emotionally, he just can't handle a relationship at the moment. (Well, this is what I gather from what he is telling me any way). After we broke up, his family found out he was suicidal. (I rang them, bawling, saying I was worried about him).

    The trouble now is, that to his family, I am like, some evil bitch from hell. According to one of my friends, she was told that i 'was physically and mentally abusive' to my ex.

    The part where they call me mentally abusive really hurts. Literally, I gave everything I had to give, trying to make sure my ex was ok. I couldn't talk to anyone about how stressed him being suicidal had made me, because if I did, it would have gotten back to his family, and he DID NOT want that. Emotionally, it has taken a huge toll on me... I've had to put myself on a drinking ban, because after all this, I'm scared I'm becoming an alcoholic. Basically, they don't even see, or consider the absolute shit I put myself through. And what's more, they shoot off their mouths about what they don't know. Wanna know the best bit? I can't even defend myself to them! Because, if I do, I would have to tell them things my ex would NOT want them to know.

    The part about me being physically abusive.... I slapped him in an argument. He was telling me he wanted to end it, (and some other harsh stuff I won't go in to) and I was drunk (ironically, had gotten drunk because i was so upset about everything). Not much of an excuse... But anyone who knows me knows it takes A LOT to make me hit someone. Sigh. I also kind of wanted him to hit back... To absolutely beat the hell out of me. Cos then I could hate him... Fucked up, hey?

    My ex and I get along really well. maybe one day we could get together again. Who knows. If we do, it would be fun to count how long it took his family to break us up I suppose....

    It just really hurts you know.... when you've done the BEST you can, to get told it's no where near good enough.
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    People always do this, the minute the split its take your sides.:dry:
    I guess it's just natural I know I've lost friends over mutual friends splitting up, somehow you always pick one to defend and one to beat up on :sad:
    Just let them rant, you know it isn't true.
  3. gettinhigh

    gettinhigh Member

    Oh yes i know what you mean in my exs familys eyes i am a witch. And i was apparently the same to my ex, abusive etc, i had every right to be! He cheated on me after four years with a seventeen year old, how pathetic. At the time i felt so shit, he said he still loved me, i still loved him. SO much! And we said maybe oneday we will get together, but its only four months gone and you CAN heal. When time goes on and you take a step back an look at things properly then you see why it wasnt going anywhere. You said you cant defend yourself incase you say something your ex might not want people to know. I felt the same, i wanted to protect him when we first broke up. Now i couldnt give a shit i have told people things he told me not to, sounds bitchy i know but it was pissin me off having to deal with it. Trust me, you do get over it. I wouldnt want to be with him now. I dont know your situation but hopefully you can think about looking out for yourself rather than thinking about them (they dont think about you so it seems lol) Yea it hurts when you give it all just to get shit on and made out to be 'The bad one' but your not. :)