break up

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by jerpvich, Jan 10, 2014.

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  1. jerpvich

    jerpvich New Member

    My girlfriend of almost 5 years wants to break up with me... I met her in 9th grade in high school and at the time she was very depressed because her best friend had committed suicide.
    I helped her see the light and even stopped her own attempts at suicide twice, I also got her to quit cutting herself.
    Fast forward to today she says that I make her physically and mentally sick, and she can't stand me anymore..
    She is the love of my life and I can't imagine life without her. I just don't know what to do, I have really bad anxiety and depression my self..
    What should I do..
    I feel like I'm gonna throw up
     
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    My dear friend. You are young and life is precious. You need to speak to someone on a helpline without having to give your name. I can understand how you feel, but there is more to life. Please speak to someone. At the moment, you are at a low ebb, where you think nobody cares. Trust me friend, I care enough just to write this post.
    Please do not think you are alone at all. Just let the emotion pore out in terms of tears. Share your feelings here. Nobody here is judging you. It tough, Im going through similar emotions but for different reasons.

    Aniexty can plague your mind but just remember you are not alone. I hope this post helps. Please speak to someone.
     
  3. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    does she say why you sicken her?
    does she remember what you did for her?
     
  4. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    If you started seeing her in 9th grade then I am guessing she is still quite young - likely 19 or so. Though it is painful and difficult , this is the far most common result of young romance. The fact is people change a huge amount from 14 to 20 - they go from being children to adults. There is a reason why psychs cannot even diagnose a personality disorder before 18 - because the personality is not fully developed. Though it may not help the pain at the moment , you need to understand she is not the same person she was when she was a child- is not the personality (which is really what a person is) that you fell in love with. I would also venture to say you are in love with that old personality - not the one that told you that you make her sick. You are in love with the past and mourning the loss of that past. Anything is possible so I cannot say you could not make it work again at some point - but it is not the relationship you started 5 years ago as adolescents that you will find - those people no longer exist.

    What should you do? You should try to remember the many great memories of the last 5 years - give yourself space away from somebody that would say such cruel things to you now and try to realize what was good 5 or 4 or 3 years ago has turned into something that is not good for you now. You do not need to do anything - if it is ever to work out the person that needs to do something is her and it needs to start with big apologies and taking it very very slow from their as she no longer deserves the trust and love you are giving her. That was earned by a different personality and the new one is not worthy of your time and effort.
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Give her her space she wants ok You take time now to talk to a councilor you get the support you need and deserve to move forward away from her harsh words. You are young and so many possibilities for you lie ahead I know you don't see that but trust me ok you will meet someone again someone so special to you that would never harm you ok Talk to someone get the supports you need to hold on until the next relationship comes ok you will be ok just hold on hugs
     
  6. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Take it one day at a time, its okay to cry its okay to throw up but pick yourself back up and try to keep yourself busy doing something to take your mind off the issue and if its possible later on to talk to her and find out what the issue might be. Time might be the help here just give it little bit more time. 5 years is quite impressive for a high school aged relationship.
     
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