Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by Greying, Sep 9, 2016.

  1. Greying

    Greying Substandard

    Because the only thing that could possibly be worse than feeling like this is letting anyone or everyone know I feel like this

    There is no outlet for, this no safety valve that I can turn off, only bandages and mufflers

    So I spend my time hoping beyond hope that some fatal accident absolves me both of the burden of life and the guilt of death
    Because heaven forbid, HEAVEN FORBID I actually want to die

    Some days like today, the only thing holding me back from trying to kill myself is the thought of failing to do so and the aftermath
    The Judgment
    The accusations
    The guilt

    So I took back the tears until I’m alone
    Then I hold them back until I have the proper outlet materials
    Then I push them down until I’m in a place that no one could ever find me cry again
    And by that point my eyes hurt and I’ve forgotten how to cry

    So the tension simply builds
    Breakdown averted after breakdown averted
    Good for me, controlling my emotions, right?

    that’s all I can do is numb myself
    and it don’t work
    and I’m tired of it
    and my eyes hurt

    But there’s nothing I can do except scribble in a book and try not to hurt
    And spoiler alert: it never works
  2. moxman

    moxman Rosie is a wonderful woman, and an awesome person. Forum Pro

    That is really good. I think you are a very smart person.
  3. Greying

    Greying Substandard

    Thank you.
    moxman likes this.