Breakdown: My bf cheated again

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by undefined, Feb 16, 2009.

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  1. undefined

    undefined New Member

    I want to first start off by telling the whole story. My bf and I were separated while I was in school for about a year. I was only gone about 4 months when I found out that he cheated on me. We got past it and I ended up moving to Arizona with him. I told him if there is any other time that you ever cheated on me LET ME KNOW NOW. I gave him ample opportunities to let me know but he denied denied denied. I was with him in Arizona for about 5 months and then he left me. He called the cops on me to make sure that he got all his stuff back, called me names to his friends, knowingly left me alone in the hospital (I had no family out here), and ignored me for three weeks. After a couple of weeks we ended up getting back together. He gave me this huge speech how he loved me, wanted to marry me, wanted to take care of me, and that he would never hurt me again like that in any way. About 2 months (currently) goes by and I end up finding out (on my own) that he cheated on me another time while I was gone for a year. He never told me about it and now I don't know what to do. I am extremely upset and freaking out right now. I don't even want to see his face so I have locked myself in the guest room in my apartment. I don't know what to do... should I stay with him or leave him. I don't know how to handle myself right now because I am so upset. Help?
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for what has been happening. It sounds very hard for you.

    No one can decide other than you, whether you should stay with him or not, but I do think you need to look at some of the aspects of the relationship to enable you to decide. Do you fele you can trust him? If you don't trust him, can he earn the trust back? Also maybe look at whether the volatile relationship you have is what you truly feel you want, or if you are with him for another reason (such as fear of being in Arizna alone).

    If you were talking to a friend who was in your situation, what would you say?

    Is there anywhere you could go for a day or two to get your head together a bit?
  3. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hi. i am sorry you are in such a difficult spot.

    right now you are very emotionally upset, and so it is hard for you to be objective about your bf. but so far, he has shown a pattern, of being very un-caring to you. you have given him multiple chances, and he has treated you badly - each time. you don't need any more proof that he is a liar and a cheat. ((sorry. based on your story though, he lies and cheats))

    it's hard to let go of someone. especially when you are away from home, and isolated. but if you can open your eyes to what this guy's true character really is - and realize that you deserve better. . . you WILL lose your love for him. once you see how badly he really has treated you - your heart will close to him. and then you can move on, and begin to heal.

    i hope you can find a way to get back to your 'home'. . please keep us posted. i have sent you a pm also - xxxx
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