i know i am only taking up space here...i will be requesting leave...seems i have hurt anyone i have ever loved or befriended here. lostbutnotfound i still care about u altho i could never tell u how much. My sisters, swift and thorninyourside I love you as if you were my own blood sisters. im sorry im no good for you, i should be there more and im not. i know im letting u down....i know im letting everyone down. my purpose here is not to seek help...its to be there for everyone else and ive been so consumed by guilt and pain and hatred for myself, i let more important things slip....im so sorry everyone...so very sorry...when i come back, if i come back...ill see what to do then. for now i cannot stay where i am not wanted or needed and it has become very obvious to me that i am neither to a lot of people here...i cant even help my sisters...to me that is very pathetic...im not my mothers daughter, im just a fat fuck who's so screwed up...she doesnt know what to do anymore....ive had 2 breakdowns...i just dont know what to do....
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